


Alone Together

by castielslovesong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 17:59:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielslovesong/pseuds/castielslovesong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An angel is to follow their orders, it is not their job to play fate. Castiel had never been out of Heaven, but he was ordered to oversee the deaths of Mary and Dean Winchester. The blaze wrecked the Winchester's home and left a trapped little boy in his room awaiting the inevitable. He, in his true form, would not be recognised to the boy, but he was curious as to how such a young specimen responds to death. Castiel could not believe the boy's lack of faith - he was not even praying. He just backed himself further onto the bed, holding his teddy bear tight and crying out for his mother, hoping for his father and muttering loving words for his brother.<br/>That was the first time Castiel rebelled. As it would happen, it would not be the last.<br/>When Castiel is in trouble, Dean inadvertently is there to save the day. Their bond begins to grow and after Dean was stupid enough to make a deal with a demon, it is Castiel who is ordered to stop his soul from kick starting something in Hell. But he was too late, and now he is working with the brothers to 'stop this bitch from happening and royally screw destiny'. Two angels and two hunters, trying to divert the apocalypse, facing impossible odds - what could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Family Portrait

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, this is my first long fic, so please be patient and any feedback would be really appreciated!  
> I have mostly followed the story of the show, but added in pieces or taken them out.  
> I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS OR PLOT. But, I do own the tension between them MWAHAHA.  
> I hope you enjoy it!  
> I will reference all the song artists in the notes for last chapter, in case anyone is interested...  
> Slow burn Destiel and angst and Sabriel know how to get it together. No explicit warnings, references to and implied sex. Kissing. There will be kissing....  
> Please give feedback if you have time :)  
> Peace out bitches -xo
> 
> _______________________________________________________________________________________________

_In our family portrait_  
 _We look pretty happy _  
___Let's play pretend_  
 _Let's act like it comes naturally_

 

Mould pulsed at the edges of the windows, the 50 year old wallpaper clang tiredly to the walls in some desperate attempt to stay up, and quite frankly, Dean was worried about catching something from his concrete mattress. Dad was out on a hunt again, surprise surprise; he was left to look after Sammy. (Not that he minded, it was, since he could remember, his job. But the principle of it, he being more of a Dad to Sammy than John, that’s what put him into a foul mood that day).

“So, tell me again. Just so I’m clear.” Anger already pumping through his veins, Dean sat his little brother down on the edge of the bed.

“I told you Dean, it just felt like they were watching me. Then again when I left school and walked to meet you. It’s nothing I can’t handle; I just wish we could act normal for once.” And there it was. The soccer punch to Dean’s chest. Flying swiftly up in rage, he turned his back to Sam.

“We’re not normal Sam, and we’re never going to be!” He sighed, pressing a rough finger to his forehead. “But it’s ok,” He turned back to his little brother and tilted Sam’s chin up so that he would look at him, “because I get it, I really do. And I’m going to try and give you a little bit of normal.” Sigh, again. “I can’t fix our family... But bullies? Hell yeah I can fix creepy-assed stalker bullies.” He poked playfully at Sam’s ribs with each word, knowing that his brother had certain ticklish spots. The sudden eruption of laughter in the air was enough to clear the tension between the brothers.  
Satisfied, Dean walked to get his Dad’s leather jacket.

“Get some studying done, ok? Someone’s got to have the brains in this family.” Smiling, Dean shut the motel door, having to heave it at the latch because it was so old there was a possibility that it would fall off every time they opened it.


	2. Like Toy Soldiers

_I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure_   
_Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders_   
_I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it_   
_Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter_

_I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless  
I absolutely have to I'm supposed to set an example_

 

They had been there less than a week and Dean was already picking fights – their fault for eyeing Sammy – it is an all too familiar feeling for Dean. An icy chill ran down Dean’s back as he advanced on the ‘jocks’ creep pit. The sky loomed ominously dark above him, and Dean had made the conscious decision to get pie on the way back.

The building itself was unimpressive for all the hype those freaks got for it. It was a two story abandoned factory, with elaborate colours painted ornate across its dull walls in the form of tags and graffiti. There were lights coming from inside, shining like beacons through the shattered windows. _Somebody’s home._ Hitching his collar up, he stood before the ‘Do Not Trespass’ sign and wondered if that would ever mean something to him. He pushed the gate, and entered into the complex.

Silently, he hoped that there was a huge misunderstanding and that with a few fierce words they would just back the fuck off. Almost as silently, a shifting mass within his stomach (known all too well as hunter’s instinct) told him that he was wishing for miracles; since he had never seen a miracle, but he had seen plenty of monsters, he was more than inclined to believe the latter.

Moving through the factory he realised it was exactly as he had expected – dusty, dirty and damp. When wasn’t he damp? The air clang to him, covering him in a sticky film; he shuddered as the wind whistled through the broken windows. Dragged from his thoughts by shouting, he quietly advanced up the stairs and down the hall way.

- ~~-~~ ~~-~~

There was a boy there, clearly one of the creepers Sam had been talking about. Although, Dean had to admit, he seemed normal enough. But when he saw the satanic paraphernalia, and the sigils and blood smears all over the place his heart sank. Letting his head bang gentle against the wall by the doorway he had paused at, he exhaled lightly. Plan – Dean Winchester you have identified the threat, now you need a plan.

Shaken for the second time that night from his thoughts, he heard a gruff voice shouting... Shouting his name?!

“You will not touch the Winchesters.” A voice like gravel split through the air, his tone absolute and final. 

“Oh… And what will you do about it _angel_? Bring _Daddy_ down to fight me?” The other voice barked back.

Two things struck Dean at this moment. First, some random dude was fighting the fight he came here to do. Second, did that fucking demon just say _angel_? It, I suppose, should not have been as much as a shock as it was for the elder Winchester. After all, he had fought hideous monsters and seen things from the depths of Hell, oh yeah that place is real, but he couldn’t wriggle out of the unease at the thought; maybe it wasn’t the idea of angels being real that disturbed him, so much as one fighting his corner.

Dean stole a glance. The angel was strikingly human. His dark hair tousled like he had just woken up, his posture defensive and his eyes like squinting daggers at the slur of ‘Daddy’.

“Who said I need my Father’s help?” Lightning cracked and the room was suddenly illuminated. The shadows of huge dark wings rose above the _angel_ and made him look about 5 times more fearsome. Rushing forward, with a spear that materialised from nowhere, the angel attacked. Dean watched from the sidelines until one word forced his legs into motion.

“Now!”

Out of dust the angel was hopelessly outnumbered. He was just a kid like him, Dean understood as he charged in, wielding a demon knife taken from a previous kill. Slicing into the flesh of the pack, the whole room stood perplexed for a moment at his presence. Perplexed and surprised. None more so than the angel… Then everything was happening again in an instant. Three demons were down, but they kept popping up like some ridiculously hardcore edition of whack-a-mole. Unremorsefully, the angel at his back stabbed out too. More went down.

So there they were: an angel and a man, both just standing there, blood on their hands and carcasses spread about them. Turning now, he watched the angel force his spear into the last cowering demons flesh; as the bright light faded out, Dean looked into the eyes of the angel for the first time.

Powerful blue irises ebbed back at him, pupil’s pinpricks with adrenaline. He was beautiful.

They stood there, kind of awkwardly, both unsure where to begin… How to start. That was always Dean’s problem, he had feelings and thoughts, but he found it easier to bottle them up than to air them. Despite all this contemplation on whether a ‘thanks’ would be appropriate, or should he just go right in with ‘who the hell are you?’ before he could say it the angel walked. He began to stride away from the massacre.

“Hey. Hey wait up.” Dean called after him, slipping his knife back into the inside pocket. The angel strode on. “What the hell man, would you stop for like a second?” Dean had managed at this point to catch up to him and yanked furiously on the ungrateful bastards shoulder so as to get him to look at him. Not that he wanted to look at him again…

Those bright blue eyes pierced right into him. “What do you want?” It was angry but almost tearful, like Dean had done something awful to stop him from getting sliced and diced by a dozen demons.

Dean couldn’t bottle his anger and questions any longer, so they just sort of fell out of his mouth in a ramble of disconnected thoughts. “How about a little explanation as to why you’re fighting to protect me and my brother huh? Or you know, why there are demons here in the first place? Or how about even your name, you asshat!” At first Dean thought the guy was going to take a swing at him, but his eyes looked so taken aback by something he said.

“Y.. You’re Dean Winchester?” Transfixed on the mysterious glare he was getting, Dean hadn’t even noticed the guy was reaching out to touch him.

Dean really hated being on a first name basis with someone he barely trusted. “And you are…”

“Castiel.” The angel answered promptly, though he had begun to circle Dean now with ever inquisitive eyes.

“Well Cast-“Dean was cut short by a large swooping noise and the angel was gone from in front of him. Whirling round he heard the scream of the knife as it cut into the flesh of Castiel. Instinctively, Dean reached for the knife in his pocket. He was too slow; this new guy was clearly pissed.

“Tut tut, Castiel. Now it is rude when you interrupt my meetings.” He threw Castiel to the side like a rag doll. A strange sensation began to build up in Dean’s stomach, like the feeling he has for Sam when he is in danger… He was worried about the guy he’d only just met.

“Hey!” Reaching forward to give this asshole a piece of his mind, he recoiled as the man abruptly turned and snatched a hold of his wrist, lifting him into the air by it.  

“Dean, Dean, Dean. Patients is a virtue, you know, I was just getting to you.” The eerie calm in his voice managed to stifle Dean’s screaming for a second.

“Who the fuck are you?” he spat, “And what the fuck do you want with my brother?”

The man held him there limply, Dean’s whole arm going numb.

“And you kiss your mother with that mouth…?” Dean’s eyes flared up and he was about to spew abuse again when the man began walking him to the elevator shaft, cutting him off. “Course not, she’s dead isn’t she. How could I forget, she was once such a beautiful thing.”

Silence. He could not even register what the guy was saying, let alone choke out a snarky reply. This… This is the demon that killed his Mom.

Even then being dangled by his now non-existent feeling wrist, he could not muster the courage to fight him. He was taken aback by the sudden reminder of her loss… Looks like he is going the same way; at least he would be with his Mom again… If he wasn’t taken to Hell. Resolutely, he looked up one last time at those sickly yellow eyes.

“He’s going to find you, you know that right? Just you wait.”

“Deano, I’m disappointed. I heard you were the brawn of the family.” With a shake of his head, Dean presumed it was over, the falling sensation already gripping his body. Then something solid was grabbing his shoulder, pulling him back up from the abyss.

“…Cas?”

He was back on the solid platform, Cas standing at his side. It all happened so fast. The man came back. The man grabbed Cas. The man stabbed him once more.

Cas’ eyes shone bright. Then he fell silent.

This time Dean was faster to react. He was up and stabbing before Cas slumped down again, though not killing the fucker, he managed to send him away for a few moments. Rapidly, all of his efforts became focused on Cas; he couldn’t even feel his arm anymore. Checking his pulse his heart skipped a beat when he felt nothing there. _Maybe angels don’t need to breathe?_ A decision needed to be made. Should he leave the _angel_ to rot with the demon corpses or hope that angels don’t need to breathe...?He had the other boy up within seconds, all his weight leaning on himself and dragging him back to the motel.

- ~~-~~ ~~-~~

I was sitting on my bed, tapping the pencil nervously against my wrist. Dean had been gone a long time. He should have been back by now. Clearly, something was up, I didn’t need to remind myself that he had gone out there because of me.

But I promised I would stay here. Sighing, I put my book down. That’s when I heard the heavy breathing and commotion coming down the hall…

- ~~-~~ ~~-~~

It was slow going but he finally made it. Shouldering his way through the door, he gently lifted Cas up again, ignoring the distressed look from his brother. Carefully, he lay Cas onto the bed.

“Sammy, help me pull the bed out.”

“Dea-“

“JUST DO IT SAMMY.”

I had never seen Dean so aggressively defensive before, not for some stranger. Was he a stranger though? Violently, I was taken away from my thoughts as I complied with Dean and helped pull the bed with the strange boy on into the middle of the room.

“Dean, what’s wrong with your hand?” He acted distracted, but I couldn’t help feel a little queasy the way it pointed out unnaturally and was congealed with blood.

“S’nuthin’ Sammy. I need you to fix him up and stay on the bed.” He moved swiftly now, taking the knife and cutting into his arm.

“Jesus Dean!” I protested, though it fell on deaf ears. The best thing I could do right now to help Dean was aiding the stranger on the bed. He was passed out and bloody; I grabbed the kit and set to work, trying hard not to focus on my brother smothering blood in a scarlet circle around the bed.

He said a few words and the ring lit up.

“Wha… What is that?” Truthfully, I had never seen a trap, or sigil like it.

Dean’s face screwed up for a minute, “I’m not exactly sure, but I know it will keep everything OUT.” He tied a rag around the gash on his arm, stopping still, “And Cas in.” Marching away from the bed Dean tried to straighten his wrist, crying out loudly, before swearing and tying a loose piece of cloth around it in some pathetic attempt to cast it. In a moment of silent communication I stood up and helped him pop his dislocated shoulder back into place. It gave a sickening crack as we did so. Instantly, he pushed me back towards the bed, and as I crossed the glowing ring of protection, remembering that this harsh Dean is Dean being protective. Sitting down, I continued to stitch the wounds on the guy’s lean chest.

Packets of food and bottles of water were hitting the side of me seconds later; I was confused but silent. Pausing, so as to not knock the steady stitching I had on his abdomen (I thought it better not to point out to Dean his lack of inhalation), Dean looked at me with a stare that I will never forget.

“Sammy, I need you to do something very important for me,” he took a deep breath, as if finally remembering his own pain, “I need you to keep him safe. His name is Cas… He’s an angel Sammy.” I gaped at him and he broke the stare now because I could feel something odd passing between our eyes. _Since when did he believe in angels?!_ Throwing some of our only possessions around he grabbed some weapons, couple of guns, knives, salt. “You don’t leave this circle and neither does he. There is something coming for you both and you are going sit your ass right there Sammy and you’re not going to leave that fucking circle until I or Dad comes back ok?”

Shaking me by the shoulders he asked me again. “Ok,” I managed. Reprieve flushed over his features as he handed me a gun. “Just in case.”He smiled. There it was again, the joking-in-the-face-of-danger Dean. It worried me deeply.

Quietly, I turned back to tie off my stitch. I heard him stand by the door, testing his injured hand with the weight of a knife.

“You’re a good kid Sammy.”

He left me. Alone with the angel – Cas. 


	3. Falling Down

_It’s my mind that's in darkest place_  
 _I can’t erase_  
 _The memories I have of a darker days_  
 _The darker days_  
 _That left a bitter after-taste_  
 _I've passed the stage_  
 _Of trying hard to mask this rage_  
 _I'm letting go_  
 _Calling out to god to let him know_  
 _I'm falling on my own accord_  
 _Please don't attempt to save my soul_  
  


He has hidden them, and they are protected within the ‘circle’. Exhaling a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he stepped back into the cold air and walked swiftly away from the motel. This was for Sammy, they were after Sammy… and they were after the angel; not that it was his concern or anything ( _hell, it’s way above my pay grade)_ but in protecting Sam he was protecting Cas. Just a lucky perk of what he was doing.

“I can feel you, you evil son of a bitch. I know you and your little mob followed me here.”

It was strange to experience relief as one of the monsters stepped out of the bush. 

“I will get to him eventually, you cannot hide him forever... or that impertinent stain.” The sub-zero tone was almost as cold as the air. Dean didn’t even move though his heart picked up an irate pace at the downgrading mention of the angel. _That’s a new one._

“Yeah, but I will damn well try.”

Within seconds they launched at him. Dean ducked and administered blows.

His injured wrist was proving his downfall.

“Come on guys, you wouldn’t fight an injured man would you? Where’s the pride in that?!”

Shooting and dropping the empty weapons as they cornered him, Dean swore for the lack of dignity demons have. Blocking hits and kicking out, his controlled mode of attack was suffocating beneath the overwhelming force around him. Until, he couldn’t even tell where the hits were coming from. He was coughing up blood. It felt like they were ripping him apart.

\---

Looking over at the angel I noticed that his chest was still not moving. Suddenly, he gasped into life and almost silent hitched breaths stuttered from his mouth, like he didn’t require his lungs at all. Now, he was gulping for air, his body arching with some unknown force in a way that made me fear possession. He had been no trouble until this point. Abruptly, he was sitting up, his eyes open and strikingly blue. He was confused, staring at me.

“I am not dead. You are Sam Winchester.” He spoke it as a statement more than anything else, and then his attention seemed focused on something entirely different, those oceans searching the room for something he had expected to be there but was not.

“Yeah.. um sorr-“

“Where is Dean?” So they were on a first name basis now… With an angel. _Heavy_. Accidently, I stumbled on a hidden glint of emotion in those vast eyes, wise beyond their years. C _oncern?_

“He went after tho-“

“You let him go out _alone_!” Standing up, and cutting me off for the second time, _I can see why Dean likes him so much_ ; he stood at the edge of the bloody ring, I looked down ashamed. _He is right._ Slowly, he bent down to touch the circumference.

“Dean’s blood…”

I sat on the bed curiously, trying to hide how anxious I was that an angel was worried about my brother and the fact that barely moments before he had been making McDonalds arches with his spine.

“Cas, what’s going on?” For some reason, he tilted his head and looked at me like I had spoken his name in dog.

“Dean called me Cas…”

\---

 He knew he had to keep fighting; Sammy and his angel were depending on him. _The_ angel _._ For a fleeting second, he felt nothing from the clawing and the total beat down he was receiving. _Angels can hear prayers, right?_ A stubborn voice from his head bit out at him: to pray is to beg, and you ain’t no beggar Dean Winchester. Letting himself fall the ground whilst still wildly jabbing and stabbing out at those who surrounded him, he reluctantly closed his eyes. 

_Cas, I don’t know if you can hear me right now or if you are even alive, but if you can then that means you’re safe. You’re with my little bro; he will make sure you are ok. I don’t know much about angels but your body was pretty beat, so ease up on the fights, eh? I’m going to keep Sammy safe, but I realise now that I might not be around to do it much longer. So I am asking you a favour, keep an eye out for him will you? I know it’s a lot to ask, I only just met you, and I’m not very good at this sappy shit. You seem pretty cool for an angel. Do that for me coul-_

His eyes burst open. The chilling heat that ran through his chest and then the searing cold that galloped through his veins awoke him from prayer. Gasping for breath, he clasped out at the demon who was holding a knife in his side.

“See you in Hell, Winchester.”

Everything went black. 

\---

Cas (or whatever his name is) was convulsing on the floor again, like he had been beaten and fainted from the shock. Gravity must have been holding him down, the guy couldn’t even move. As I clambered over the bed to his aid I stopped short when he looked up, a heartbroken expression on his face.

“ _Dean_.”

Time slowed to a grinding halt. The angel looked away feverishly from my eyes. He regained his balance and tried to leave the circle. He could not.

“Sam break the blood.” I stared up at him incredulously. “NOW”

 _What the hell!_ I jumped off the bed and rubbed my thumb through Dean’s dried blood. It crunched along the skin on my thumb. Spinning to face the angel once more, air flushed in my face in one foul swoop.

 _Why does everyone keep leaving? What did he mean when he said that? Dean?!_  

 _Woosh_. Fluttering feathers filled the air and at once I recognised the wilted figure of Dean in the angel’s arms.

“DEAN!”

He was vaguely aware of someone calling his name. _Sammy?_ There was something strong holding him, it was warm and comforting, then all too soon, he felt the familiar hardness of the mattress beneath him. Numb; a complete frozen sensation seemed to grip him from the inside out. Flittering in and out of consciousness he was somewhat in knowledge of pressure on his wounds.

There was so much blood.

Sobbing I fell to my knees, my hands shakily touching Dean’s broken body.  
“You’re an angel right? F... Fix him. Miracle. NOW!”

What I said made the angel fidget miserably. “I can’t.”

Astounded I scoffed at him. “What do you mean you ‘can’t’ you’re a freaking ang-”

“YOU DON’T NEED TO REMIND ME WHAT I AM.” He was full on shouting at me; he looked away, incapable of meeting my gaze. A small part of me maybe knew he couldn’t, Jesus was the one who performed miracles. I thought angels were meant to be humanities guardians though – I had read as much in a book. “I am young, Sam. This is my first time in a VESSEL.” Cas looked down at his now healed abdomen but still ripped shirt, then back at me. “I couldn’t even heal myself… I am useless.”

Questions buzzed around my head _(what is a vessel?)_ and I thought maybe _I_ was going to pass out from the state of Dean.

\---

His face fell to the side and he saw there the angel. Standing awkwardly; Dean could still feel those cold blue eyes boring into him. Though he sensed, as in his delirium he could describe it as sensing, the intensity had changed, softened. He could ‘sense’ Sammy too, talking to Cas; they were both touching him. Assessing the damage.

“I should call Dad.”

“NO Sammy.” Dean flickered in. “He’ll be mad at yo...” The lights went in Dean’s eyes again; in vain I tried to keep him awake. _Alright then._

“Get ice from the freezer.” I spoke plainly and it felt empowering as the angel complied with no hesitation. Ripping his scattered shirt off gently, I looked at Dean’s wounds again, their horrifying depth and magnitude clearer now. A gasp fell from my lips. He was so broken, limbs beaten and bruised, cuts bloody and congealing.

I forced myself into action, the angel doing exactly as I said (though I would have laughed at the expression on his face when he saw Dean’s naked flesh – it was almost embarrassed - had he been in one piece) until we both saw it. A bright branded hand on Dean’s shoulder.

Cas looked just as surprised as me.

“What the hell is that?”

He muttered softly, as if the revelation worried him. “Must have been when I pulled him up.”

I could have sworn that for an angel, the guy was hopeless at first aid. Although I would have liked to of taken Dean to a hospital, it was too risky what with the speculating questions, police evolvement and demon threats. But the angel listened and, a little bit less gentle than a nurse, helped me patch Dean up. We properly casted his wrist too, which felt as though all the little bone components had been shattered inside. 

When Dean next awoke, three nights had passed. John wasn’t back and the angel had left. Pain poked at him all over, taunting old wounds and teasing new ones. There was also something that sank in his heart. It felt like loneliness. He tried to shut the feeling away, but when his eyes closed, those piercing blue orbs blinked back at him.


	4. Wake Me Up When September Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapters, sorry. Kinda trying to fill in holes so that the story almost makes sense.  
> ______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Here comes the rain again_  
 _Falling from the stars_  
 _Drenched in my pain again_  
 _Becoming who we are_

_As my memory rests_  
 _But never forgets what I lost_  
 _Wake me up when September ends_

Sam could barely bring himself to look at Dean. So wrecked and vulnerable. He knew how much Dean hated to be in a position when he couldn’t even get out of bed; he was after all, a man of action.

Eventually, Dean managed to scrape himself off the cardboard mattress and wobbled as he put pressure on aching limbs. Sam was still in bed, sleeping for the first time in hours. It comforted Dean to see his brother at peace again. Grabbing a beer (unnaturally with his left hand) and checking the salt lines and demon traps he shuffled to the door, ignoring the crippling pain he felt all over. He wanted two things right now: a burger and air.

_Hey man, this must be kinda weird, huh? Weird for me too actually. I guess… I guess I wanted to know if you are ok? I feel like shit so if you have a minute I’d ~~love~~ like. Like for you to come down here... if you can. _

_Smooth Dean, smooth._

\---

After walking out into the blazing sun (or so it seemed after days in that dingy motel room) with nothing more than a shirt and jeans on, Dean realised it might have been better for him to look at himself before he did so. Brushing his hand awkwardly over his face as he passed a small group of glaring people, he felt the tender bruises on his face and the stinging cuts. He looked at his arms as he walked, cut, battered and in places still bleeding. Choosing a secluded bench he strained to sit down; he exhaled heavily bringing the beer to his lips. Hushed, he began to sing to himself, a song he had heard as he was sauntering past a food stand.

_If heaven’s grief brings hell’s reign,_

_Then I’d trade all my tomorrows for just on yesterday,_

_(I know I’m bad news),_

_For just one yesterday._

 “Hello Dean.”

Fright gripped him fiercely by the chest and he practically choked on his beer. Castiel sat scarcely inches beside him. The pain hissed through his chest and he held his hand there as if to ground himself. Cas sat, concerned and confused at Dean’s actions. 

“Jesus Cas! Don’t do that!”

“I’m sorry. Do what?” He was apologizing even though he didn’t understand why. Man does he have things to learn.

“Sneak up on me!”

“Oh. Well you did call me here, also, why are you saying that?”

“What, it’s just a song Cas… Wait… That means you heard my prayer?” Cas was staring at him intently again.

“Oh, yes. I am flattered to think that you were worried about my situation.”

“I wasn’t worried.” Dean fidgeted self-consciously with his bottle. The angel looked at him with the best _bullshit_ stare he had ever seen. He easily trumped Sammy.

“Were you dead or…?”

The angel nodded. Luckily, he did not follow the idea through with more detailed response. Dean was definitely not ready for a resurrection talk. Instead they sat in comfortable silence; Dean had never felt so at ease with someone. It was… Good. Buzzing in Dean’s pocket interrupted the moment they had both been enjoying.

“Dad?”

“Why the hell is Sam home alone? What part of ‘keep an eye on Sam’ failed to get through your _thick dumb_ skull!?”

“Dad, loo-“

“Where are you? What on earth could be so important that you LEFT your little brother alone?”

Dean could hear Sam in the background, trying to defend him. Daring a glance at Cas, he could also see from his bewildered face that he could hear his Dad through the phone.

“I’m coming back now.” He mumbled.

“What was that?”

“I’m coming back now, Sir.” He shouted, automatic and even. Clicking the phone down, he turned to Castiel. “I have to go.”

Without waiting for a reply, Dean trudged back to the motel. His wounds were weighing on him again; he felt tired and even more in pain.

“You look like shit boy. You sure you’re ok Sam?”

“I told you Dad, Dean got beat by demons, loads of them.”

“Demons,” his Dad eyed Dean sceptically, “we haven’t seen any omens or anything around here. Why the hell would there be demo-“

“I don’t know Dad. But they were after Sammy. Then there was the angel and one of the demons said…”

“An angel, yeah very funny Dean. Clear yourself up. We’re off in an hour.” His immediate dismissal of the idea made Dean nervous; his Dad didn’t normally act so blunt – especially when it came to Sam.  

“There _was_ an ang-“Sam started, but Dean cut him off with a sharp look of his eye, Sam and his Dad didn’t get on at the best of times, let alone arguing about _him_. Grabbing his Dad’s jacket, far more mindful of the weary glances he received before; he made for the door, pushing past his Dad.

“If you’re not back, we’re leaving without you!”

\---

If Dean’s wrist didn’t feel like it was missing he would have used his hand to punch a wall. He went back to the same bench, secretly hoping Cas was still there; maybe even considering telling Cas as much if he was.

His heart dropped at the site of an empty bench. At least, alone with his thoughts, he could try to repress the rage that encompassed his soul, he wagered. He closed his eyes hard shut.

“It’s not your fault you know.” He was sat beside Dean again; still mere inches away, though this time Dean did not jump.

“You cannot say that. My Dad is right. They could have come back…” Shuddering at the thought of that monster getting to Sammy, he placed his hand on the marked shoulder. He felt comfort in doing so but he noticed Cas shiver when he touched it. “I, er, wanted to say thank you. For saving me and all.”

“Technically, you saved me first. Both times.” He replied, too sodding calm.

“Wow. You seem pretty fucking cool about the fact that you got beat and _died_ for me.” As soon as he met Cas’ eyes again, he deeply regretted it. He swallowed. Cas’ stare didn’t waver.

“It was my own decision. You hold up so much Dean, I wish I could help you.”

Silence surrounded them once more. Dean was in desperate need of a conversation changer, “So what’s up with all this angel and demon stuff huh? More importantly, what’s it got to do with me and Sammy? Hell, no offense, but why are you here?”

“I must prepare to spend time here. There are many things...” Cas stopped. Light encompassed the small bench and Dean would have instinctively shielded his eyes from it had it hurt him. But he could stare right at it, just like Castiel’s eyes.

_‘Things…’ what?_

As Dean manoeuvred awkwardly into the front seat of the Impala he prayed once more – it was more like conversing with Cas now that he knew he could hear him and the problem was, back at the bench, Dean felt sure Cas was about to tell him something.

Days turned into weeks.

His Dad began to forgive him and the wounds started to heal. Dean told his Dad about yellow eyes, and that seemed to speed up the recovery process on his trust.

Eventually the hand print faded. But the memory of Cas held fast.

 


	5. Demons

 

_When you feel my heat_  
 _Look into my eyes_  
 _It's where my demons hide_  
 _It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_  
 _It's dark inside_  
 _It's where my demons hide_  
 _It's where my demons hide_

Hell is a terrible place.

It’s dark and excruciating and the pain he relived day in day out became so much he couldn’t hold on any longer. He didn’t CARE any longer. He had failed. Dean wasn’t able to protect Sammy, wasn’t able to save his Dad, wasn’t able to stop a demon army. Disappointment. The torture inflicted here could never hope to contest the torture he put upon himself for failing. For not being the son his Dad would want him to be. For being weak.

So, when Alastair finally came knocking after 30 years, he said yes.

And for 10 years his soul rotted torturing the other poor souls left to eternal damnation. Worse still, he was enjoying it – not that it mattered, he reasoned.

If there is one thing about Hell that is certain, it is that it is dark. Not just in a physical sense, but in an emotional one too; the atmosphere of the place was oppressive enough. When something bright gripped Dean, in the midst of all that shadowy existence, he knew something big was up. Feeling something so bright pierce through the veil of that sinister gloom made his soul leap. It held him tight. He couldn’t help think the sensation felt somewhat familiar…

\---

Well this was a new low. (Considering he’d been in Hell). Buried alive, never thought he’d feel this claustrophobic being so close to the surface. Rasping for air now, as if his lungs had finally just caught up with the situation, he began to bang at the wood. _You’re 6 feet under dumbass._ He collected his emotions and his heart beat, shoving it all into a box and concealing it deep inside him. More controlled than before, he held his fingers together and put his tips to the wood. He dropped his arm and hit. Systematically, he felt the wood begin to splinter and then dirt was pouring in. Mustering the last of his strength, Dean pulled himself out. Wildly clawing at the surface, a phoenix rising from the ashes, he emerged; he surveyed the site around him.

It was like a fricking nuke had gone off at his grave. Though the dead walked, the living fell down in his place. The unease and questions whirled inside him but, first things first: he needed to make a phone call.

 _With what your mind?_ Dean kicked himself for being so very secluded. There was nothing in sight, except for hundreds of trees knocked over in his wake and a ghostly silence like the calm before a storm.

His mind came to one conclusion; even if it’s been a few years.

_Hey Cas, man. I know I’ve asked you before. But I need you. Like right here, right now._

Dean peaked through one of his eyes and felt his hope shrink back into its shell at the same depressing scene before him. He jumped more or less 3ft into the air when a voice from behind him spoke.

“Hello Dean.”

It was much more gravely than before, but the sound of it was none the less unmistakeable. Cas.

With a single turn he socked the angel one right in the face. Reeling back in pain, and swearing a number of times, he turned back to the angel who stood, trench coat flapping slightly in the breeze, head cocked just off to the side in confusion.

“I do not understand. You asked me here so that you could hit me?”

Castiel looked into Dean’s green eyes once more, he had missed them greatly, but he was saddened too at the new darker shade that fringed at the edges of his iris; threatened that lush green with grief and pain. Dean sighed, that was not his intention at all, but the years of abandonment had caught up to him. At least he was here when it really mattered, huh?

The angel seemed to understand and a look of guilt rushed into those eyes. God how Dean had tried to forget those eyes. Leaning forward, to touch Dean’s forehead he whispered quietly, “I’m sorry I couldn’t do this before.”

That was their second moment: both of them lingering too long for it to be innocent, holding out for something more. Before it got awkward Dean coughed and moved back, his hand intact.

“What’s going on Cas, why am I out of the pit?”

“Because it was ordered so and I follow my orders.”

“You saved me from Hell,” Dean responded hastily.

_It appears as though it has become a habit of mine, gripping you tight and pulling you out of dark places. You should take better care of yourself._

Dean scoffed. _It’s been a while. Where have you been? I prayed to you, man, for a long time._

Up until this point they had been meeting each other’s gaze, not being able to look away. Now though, Castiel broke their connection and sat down on a fallen trunk. Instinctively, Dean was pulled to his side.

_You remember the last time we spoke?_  
 _Yeah, we were sitting on a bench in some God forsaken city, talking about demons. Then you practically burst into light._

Cas looked at Dean now, but Dean fixed his eyes to some far off place in the distance.

 _They dragged me back. To heaven. I needed to be… Re-educated on my place with the humans in my charge._ He stopped. _Why am I telling you this?_

_You went to Hell to get me, got to count to something right?_

Dean faced Cas now, they were merely inches apart. Closing his eyes he revelled in the warmth of Cas beside him. Cas inched closer.

 _You reading my mind or something?_ Joking he looked at Cas again. _Shit dude, you better not be!_

Unfazed by the whole situation, he glanced out at the vast space in front of them. _I heard your prayers, but I was unable to act on them. I’m sorry._

Dean remained silent.

 _By the time I was allowed back onto Earth,_ Cas continued, _You had stopped praying. I figured, you… Had moved on._

_Well duh I stopped praying, you didn’t even God damn answer, I figured you had something more important to be doing!_

Cas’ hand fell on Dean’s shoulder. He gasped at the touch, trying hard to shake the feeling of electricity it sent through his body.

_There is nothing more important than you Dean. Though I believe now it should be easier for us to communicate. I can answer you and you will hear it without my presence being necessary._

Dean’s forehead creased with deliberation. _You’re going to have to spell it out for me man, I’m the dumb Winchester remember._

_I wish you did not regard yourself so lowly, Dean. If you could see how bright your soul is compared to any other I have seen…_  
 _Don’t go all chick-flick on me man. So this communicating thing, how do we do it?_

Confusion was deep set in Castiel’s bent head expression, _we share a more profound bond Dean, it was shown so when you could pray to me directly. But now, we are conversing inside your head._

 _Profound_ _what? What do you mean in my… Oh. So do prayers usually not go direct to the er, angel?_

_It is a very complex system Dean, I would prefer not to go into it. For now, all you need to know is that whatever happened when we met… it changed me._

_Good change or bad change, ‘cos by the sounds of our last encounter, you helped me and your ass got a beating for it. Sorry man. Guess I fucked another thing up._

_You did not ‘fuck me up’ Dean. As it is, my orders were to let Azazel kill you._

_Whatever man, you don’t have to pity me with your presence. Wait, back the truck up, you knew that was going to happen!?_  
 _Not exactly Dean, but we have our sources yes._

_Your ‘sources’…_

_His name is Chuck._

_Chuck…?!_ Dean trailed off, looking at the sun finally dipping down below the horizon. _I wanna see Sammy._

“Of course.” Cas spoke out loud this time. “I didn’t forget what you said when you first prayed to me, you know.”

“You mean when I was 14, when I was getting beat up by demons for God knows why and you and Sammy were hold-up in some motel. And I asked you to look out for Sammy... You remember that?”

“ _Dean_ that was the first time anyone had ever done anything to help me. My first days with humanity. My first time being _prayed_ to. You don’t know what it feels like to be prayed to Dean.” A menacing smile trickled through Dean’s lips.

_Castiel, feathery angel ass of the Lord, take me to see my brother, and thank you, for looking out for him._

Cas stopped breathing, a shiver visibly falling down his spine. “You are welcome… I would do anything you asked of me Dean.”

At the touch of his forehead, Dean was standing next to Cas at Bobby’s. The two hunters sat on the sofa gaping at Dean.

“Heyya Sammy… Bobby.”

\---

Both of them charged at him, knives in hand throwing salt and holy water at Dean. He hid behind Cas who seemed nonplussed.

“I’m not a freaking demon! CAS tell them man!”

“DEAN IS DEAD. IN HELL. GONE. AND CAS, HA, CAS HASN’T BEEN AROUND SINCE I WAS 10 YEARS OLD!”

Sam was about to slice into Dean’s arm when Cas caught his hand and looked directly into his eyes.

“Sam. It’s Dean.”

He looked up at the sound of Cas’ voice, unable to move. Cautiously, Dean poked his head from behind Cas. “You believe me now?”

The knife dropped to the floor as Sam held Dean in a bone crushing embrace.

“I missed you Dean, so much.”

“Argh, come on Sammy, no chick flick moments.” They broke apart.

Sam’s nose crinkled, he coughed, “You need a shower man.”

“Bitch.”

 “Jerk.”

Bobby, who has been silent up to this point, took the opportunity to slap Dean over the head before pulling him into a hug himself muttering an affectionate “Idjit.”

Now that everyone had accepted Dean’s return it all got rather awkward. How… Where do they even begin?

Sam, the completely unaware proverbial moose in the room, was the first to break the silence.

“So, where you been Cas?”

Castiel tensed up instantly. He hadn’t meant to say anything to Dean and now, now he was being asked the exact same question. Apparently, Dean had clocked onto this.

_Don’t worry Cas._

“Cas is an angel, Sammy, dude’s had work to do. Orders to follow. Bit like us, eh.”

Sam began with a flood of questions. Bobby left to grab a beer before carrying on research into a creature Rufus was having trouble hunting.

Cas could have kissed Dean there and then. _I hope Dean couldn’t read that._ If he did, he did not react, except after a few seconds to look at him apprehensive.

_You alright man, you can go if he’s weirding you out._

_No I’m fine. I just haven’t talked to your brother in a way that is casual. It is interesting._

_The guys a total nerd man, you start talking to him about a book and…_

“Dean, are you even listening to me!?”

Hoping Sam didn’t see the flush creep up his neck at being interrupted from the internal dialogue with Cas, he grabbed a beer from the table and plonked down next to Sam. Cas followed and sat awkwardly next to him, the three of them crowded onto Bobby’s sofa.

“Tell me about the last couple of months, Sam.”

“Not much to tell.”  
“Then tell me Sam, what has happened since I last saw you.”  
That shut him up for a second. Dean felt a small smile creep up his lips when he thought that internal monolouging Cas sounded just like normal Cas. _Not hot at all_.

A switch clicked inside Sam. He began a chronological shortened run through of their lives; he paused to go through some details of cases that were of particular interest. Also, he stopped for a breather, encouraging Dean to fill in the blanks and hilarious details.

_You didn’t mention any of this in your prayers._

_Didn’t want to bog you down._

The way Cas stared at him then made Dean acutely uncomfortable.

“I’m going to take that shower now. You two play nice.” He put his best shit-eating grin on just for Sam before nearly running out of the room.

\---

Not normal Dean behaviour, and I know, I am practically the master of Dean Winchesters hidden emotions. Cas is still sat there, same flat emotional state as ever. He is staring at me. How does Dean cope with it? _God he’s almost looking through me!_

“I was reading this book, on erhm angel lore. Is any of the stuff written about you guys true?”

“I’m afraid you will have to be more specific.”

“Are you guardians of humanity?”

“Not exactly.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“I am an angel of the Lord, but we are more like soldiers than ‘guardians’.”

It was easy after that. I rattled off all the questions I could think of, including ones about Dean and Hell and how he got him out. All of a sudden, I was 10 years old again, the angel not hesitating to answer any of my questions.

\---

Dean stood in the bathroom, his muddy shirt discarded on the floor. Examining his body, a string of very heavy swears tumbled from his trembling lips. He was in one piece, sure, but every scar he had ever received was still imprinted on his body like a patchwork of stories. _I don’t know what I was expecting…_ But the one that he was thinking about most was the hand print of his friend on his shoulder, just like before.

The Hounds scratches were the worst, though they seemed less prominent than he had expected. They all did, come to think of it, but their company still felt cold and painful. His fingers ghosted over the hand print. Stripping down, he climbed into the warm stream of water. _I’m alive._

_Dean._

_Dude I’m in the… Oh in my head chat, my bad, carry on._

_You know how I did what you asked of me in your prayer._

_Yes?_

_Sam was, fornicating with a demon._

_A DEMON! No way, Sammy would never…_

_Dean. He was in a dark place after you died. The demon, Ruby was trying to get him to drink demon blood._

_Demon blood! What the fuck Cas?! Why?_

_We are unsure at the moment, but it has something to do with you both._

_Urgh, thanks Cas._

_No problem Dean._

By the time Dean was overly clean, dressed and plodding back down the stairs, Cas and Sam were in the middle of some heated nerd conversation about Einstein. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t understand all that stuff, more that he really wasn’t interested.

_Dean please help me._

_NO way man, I’m not getting between Sammy and Einstein. You are on your own for this one, he basically jerked off to the guy as a kid._

Cas’ face screwed up.

“HA! You admit defeat Cas?” Admittedly, Castiel could not currently get the image of Sam and Einstein….

_Dean I do not understand the concept of ‘jerked off’._

Bursting into hysterical laughter, Dean walked over to Sam and Cas, handing each a beer, before parking himself between them again.

_I’m l-_

_Leaving. Yeah you’re good at that._

Cas nodded, a hurt expression covering his face.

_It’s ok Dean. I’ll come back._

_When Cas? I waited. I begged, man for almost 15 years. I… I can’t do that again._

Slowly, Cas peeled himself from the sofa and made for the door.

“Goodbye Sam and.. Dean.”

“You coming back?”

“Yes.”  
“Better be sooner than last time.”

A smile flashed across Cas’ face. _So that’s what it feels like._

_You’re family man. You are welcome anytime._

He turned away.

“DUDE!” Feathers fluttered in the air. Castiel was gone once more.

_I saw your wings man! Jesus they are awesome! How comes I never seen them before huh, they were… they were awesome Cas._

_I’m going to let it slide that you blasphemed about my wings. Apparently our bond is strong enough for you to see them. They are hidden from everyone._

_Except me._

_Very perceptive of you Dean, yes except you._

_Awesome, when you get back… Can I… Never mind._

_Goodbye Dean._

“What was that about?”

“Nothing important Sammy.”

Man had Dean missed that bitch face as he fell back beside him on the sofa. Things began to plunge back into their routine; the boys began hunting again, living on the open road and shitty motels.


	6. The Kill

_What if I wanted to break_   
_Laugh it all off in your face_   
_What would you do?_

_What if I fell to the floor_   
_Couldn't take all this anymore_   
_What would you do, do, do?_

_Come break me down_   
_Bury me, bury me_   
_I am finished with you_

_What if I wanted to fight_   
_Beg for the rest of my life_   
_What would you do?_

_You say you wanted more_   
_What are you waiting for?_   
_I'm not running from you_

“Oh baby, I have missed you.”

“Dean that’s just plain disturbing man, it’s your car.”

The engine roared as Dean floored it on another non-descript high way, “Can you hear that, she’s glad I’m back.”

They chased the papers, currently on the hunt for a nest of vampires.

“What do you make of all this Dean?”  
“I dunno Sammy. It’s all a bit fucking weird.”  
“I’ve got a bad feeling about it, Dean.”

“Like you had a bad feeling about Ruby?”

Sam stared at Dean incredulously, neither denying nor admitting to anything.

“Cas told me. And did you really think I wouldn’t find out?!”

“He hasn’t even been… Have you had him watching me!?” Squirming in his seat, Sam looked expectantly at Dean.

“I asked. Once.”

Silence engulfed the car, a mixture of adrenaline and unease holding both men in its grip.

For a town with 5 murdered girls, it was a pretty nice place. Quiet, not in the creepy sense, and homely. Pulling up at the motel, Sam and Dean payed for a room then set into the town to gather information. They did the usual, FBI cover ID’s, checking the corpses, confirming their suspicions and then heading to each of the locations where the girls died.

By the time it was getting dark, they only had one scene left to check. The road stretched out in front of them, the yellow tape still shaking from its post.

“Not disturbing at all, Dean.”     

“Yeah well this is the last one, and then it’s back to the bar I saw a while back. I am so done for tonight.”

“Can’t we just go back to the mot-“

“No Sammy we can’t, because the best place to gather info is in bars right? Plus we’re strapped for cash and I’m feeling lucky.” Flexing his fingers, he winked at his brother.

“Great, just don’t get caught.”

Nothing of particular interest caught the hunter’s eyes as they were surveying the site so they set off for the bar just down the road.

It was teaming with bearded men and almost topless women. With all the charm he could muster after a whole days driving, Dean got a couple of beers then headed over to the pool table where Sam was waiting. Sam shook his head, sighing as Dean played the ‘I’m rubbish at pool here’s a beer, I totally don’t know you, fancy a game’ card. Works like magic.

He lets Sam beat him in a game, ‘losing’ some money. The other greedy gamblers want to profit from some poor guys loss and immediately jump at the chance to play Dean. Course Dean kicks ass (not too much that it is obvious) and they make a quick 500 bucks no sweat.

Unfortunately, the old Winchester luck kicks in and before the boys know it, they are being kicked out of the bar for hustling. It wasn’t really a funny situation, but with all the real scary monsters they know exist, it’s nice to know that humanity is still holding a small stake in their backs.

Like I said, it would have been funny if there wasn’t a sharp crack of wood on the back of Dean’s head and a familiar _thud,_ _thud_ as the hunters dead weight hit the floor.

\---

“Deeeean.” My voice was thick from unconsciousness and my concern came out as more of a drunken slur.

Banging on the inside of my skull forced my head to look up. Lights flickered uneasily and the wooden room (I’m going to guess we’re in some kind of shack) smelt of rot and woodworm. When I saw Dean, I flinched in an instant response. We were both hanging by our hands, but Dean had what looked like an IV tube hanging from his neck; slowly sucking away his blood.

“Dean! Dean holy crap man! Answer me, Dean!”

“Jesus Sammy.”

“Dean, you’re alright.”

“Yeah, but my head fucking hurts! So stop shouting.”

I didn’t know whether to be relieved or pissed and his reaction. All I knew was that we were at the mercy of _vampires_ and they were taking a small piece of my brother every second.  Yanking hard with all my weight, I ripped free from my restraints, crashing to the floor with a loud _thump._

\---

Sam unceremoniously ripped the IV out of his neck. “Ow… Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

Fortunately for Dean, they had only just started harvesting him and now standing on his feet, blood pumping back into his pin prickled arms, he felt a bit better. Albeit only a bit. The commotion must have alerted the guards to their ‘escape’; they didn’t have time to suitably arm themselves before a vampire crashed through the large oak door.

“Sammy duck!” and he did, years of trust and experience holding an impenetrable bond on and off the field between the brothers. Swinging the thing closest to his hand, a book hit the vamp straight in the face.

“At first, I thought my Master’s dinner was escaping. Now I’m just mad.” Two more vampires followed in quick succession, one heading for Sam and the others were eyeing Dean in a way that definitely made him feel like a cheeseburger.

Searching for a proper weapon he grabbed a sharp looking object, “Sammy!” He threw it with ease; Sam catching the poker effortlessly.

Their own weapons were lain out on the table at the far end of the room. Swiftly, with the agility of a cat, Dean dodged both assailants reaching the table just in time to whip round and slice cleanly through the neck of his original attacker. An outraged scream pierced through the shack. The other two vampires hit the floor. Heads rolling distant from their shoulders.

Sam joined him by the table, collecting weapons. Standing backs to the wall, they each held their machetes defensively in hand.

“I guess we found the nest.”

“Shut up Dean.”

Trembling the heavy footfall of men fell on delicate floorboards. The Winchesters braced themselves for the onslaught. The cold clink of metal and the hiss of hungered breaths stormed the room. Quickly ducking and avoiding blows, while cleanly cutting at the necks was testament to years spent fighting; it was times like these Dean can actually say he’s thankful for it. But the vampires kept coming, beating the men with an overwhelming force.

Knee deep in vampires, disarmed and being viciously slammed against the wall, Dean hears a familiar voice in his head.

_Dean are you alright? I can sense a state of distress from your soul._

Dean fought the razor teeth that grazed the skin on his neck; snapped the neck of the beast with his hands. He looked to Sam, in his fleeting moment of nonviolence, only to watch in horror as he was thrown across the room. Hitting his head and falling limp.

“Sammy!” Furiously, he pushed against the swarming tide of bodies to stand between them and his unconscious brother.

_Dean? Dean can you hear me, why aren’t you answering?_

_I’M A LITTLE BIT BUSY AT THE MOMENT CAS!_

Slashing out at the throats of the vampires he was once more besieged. This time the creature held him by the throat, chocking him against the table. Dean felt the harsh slam of his back on tough wood, his windpipe collapsing within his throat, constricted of air, consciousness slipping away from him in a half forgotten dream.

_Dean tell me where you are._

_I…Don…_ Hazy black bled into his eyes; Dean welcomed it as it silenced the stinging of his head and he felt the tightness of his limbs slip away.

He was torn back into the room by a bright white light. “Cas…”

It was more vivid than he remembered, harsh and should have been blinding. But there was something else in the room too. Arching up high over Cas’ head, which was focused intently on one of the vampires, hand tightly holding its cranium, (and over his freshly tousled hair _which_ _you are not attracted to Dean_ ) were a pair of striking black wings. Like thunder clouds before the most devastating storm, coupled with an elegance and _beauty_ in the way they were pitched back defensive. Not to mention they looked soft, plush feathers even and organised, exactly opposite to Cas’ hair. _Probably feels soft too..._

Dean threw the vampire, who had been temporarily stunned at the presence of an angel, ripping its head from its body with a swoop of his knife. And just like that, the adrenaline was gone. Falling, his body prepared him for the hard edge of the table; when something equally as rigid, but in a reassuring way, held him under his arms, disorientating him. The strong arms let him sit down, before the familiar touch of two fingers pulsed through his forehead. All at once, heat surged through him, his strength returned to his legs and he felt as though the blood had rushed into the sides of his cheeks.

“Thanks Cas.”

“You’re welcome Dean.” Cas walked to where Sam was knocked out, blood seeping from his head. With a similar touch, Sam’s head healed though he did not wake up.

_I thought it would be better if he slept._

_Good call, could you zap us to the car? I don’t actually know where we are and I mean I hate the flying but..._

As he finished the deliberation, he found himself sat in the driver’s side of the Chevy, Cas to his right and Sammy sprawled in the back, his Sasquatch legs bent from the lack of space.

“I should be going.”  
Dean caught Cas’ arm. “Wait.” He watched as Cas’ wings curled back behind him; for a second he was lost with the irresistible urge to touch them. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Ok.”  
“Wow, I was expecting more of a fight. Well, whatever. What the hell is going on Cas?”

“We are sitting in your car having a conver-“

“Not us, assbutt, what’s going on with the _creatures._ This is not the first nest we’ve found, there are werewolf packs and all sorts of fucking monsters are finding each other and clubbing together. What does it all mean?”  
“I don’t know…”

“Bullshit! I can fucking read you like a book Cas, you’re lying.”

“It is not of import.”

“Don’t you flit out on me!” The wings uncurled once more and Cas was gone. “You really suck at goodbyes. _Asshole._ ”

Dean drove back to the motel, his bodying aching as the fingers of fatigue ran through him. Half carrying and half dragging his gigantic giraffe of a brother, he set him gently down on the bed. Then Dean fell on the twin bed beside him, too exhausted to get out of his clothes, but not exhausted enough to forget to put his gun under his pillow. He tried to shut out the thoughts of the angel with eyes vast as oceans and wings black like the night but for all they felt wrong (and secretly he never felt so right) it was his angel that protected him from the memories he’d much rather forget.

\---

It wasn’t that Castiel didn’t want to tell Dean, but more that if he did, he feared how the hunter would react. That it would place even more burden upon his soul. _It is so bright, even despite everything._ Shaking his head, Castiel fought the war within himself; Dean was pissed at him, which totally made these unexplainable and human _emotions_ he was feeling rise up inside him. However, to tell Dean would be disobeying orders and sharing secret information.

_So this is choice? In the words of a good friend: bite me._

\---

The red smears fell across his eyes. The taunting boom of laughter as the whip ripped into his flesh. Pain rippled through him, how can he feel this throbbing if he is dead? It came at him, his body was so tired, and his soul was aching. He was on the verge…

_“Stop. No don’t!”_

_“You know how to make it stop Dean.”_

_“Fine.”_

_“I’m sorry what was that?”_

_“I’ll do it you son of a bitch, just make it-“_

“Hello Dean.”

Dean was still shuddering from the memory relived. “What are you doing here? Where are we?”

“I came to talk to you and you were sleeping. I almost woke you but I figured your dream was causing you distress, so I brought us back to the park we sat at once. Where we first talked, properly.”

“That park in Idaho… You watched me sleep? That’s creepy man and you’re invading my dreams now too.”

“It’s the apocalypse.”

“What!?”

“What you are asking about. It is the apocalypse.”

“What the hell! What does it have to do with me and Sammy?”

“You are… Vessels, for Michael and Lucifer.”  
“Lucifer, as in ‘The Devil’? Man I hoped he wasn’t real.”  
“Well he is and seals are being broken in order to let him out of his confinement.”  
“So that he can fight Michael, I’ve read the story. Dude, you should have left me in the pit.”

“And what would that change?”  
“What wouldn’t it have changed? Michael wouldn’t have a vessel, so no fight right? Then all you and your angel buddies would have to do is stop these seals from being broken. From the way I see it, that would work.”  
“The fact that it could have worked doesn’t matter, Michael could have gotten you out himself. And it is unfortunate to say, but this has been destined since before you were born.”

“Stop flattering your brother, I can tell you’re lying. ‘Profound bond’ more like a ‘profound reason for you to be straight with me to my face’ for once.”

“You can… Read me?”

“Yeah, but we can have a chick flick moment after we stop this bitch from happening and royally screw destiny.”

“You cannot ‘screw destiny’. I know, I have met fate.”  
“Like you know that you ‘should not’ be telling me all this.”

Castiel stared at Dean confounded, “Is it really that easy to see my thoughts?!”

“No, but I just figured. I am practically bad news for you; every time you come back you look like an angel stole your pie or something.”

Dean is catching the whole idea pretty quickly, which surprised Castiel greatly.

“I do not understand that reference.”

“Doesn’t matter, come on, how do we stop the seals from being broken?”

“We stop the people breaking them.”  
“Thanks Sherlock for clearing that mystery up for me. I mean do we know _who_ it is yet?”

“My name is not Sherlock, it is Castiel and I’m afraid so.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Alphas.”

“Shit... That’s really bad and _that’s_ why the freaks are getting’ together.”

“Yes, it is.”

Silence stretched between them now.

“How many?”

“Too many. Too many for man or angel or both. It is really quite hopeless and spreads worldwide.”

“So you think me and Sam are just going to bend over and be your brothers bitches?”

“You probably shouldn’t rule it out.”

“Well we are ruling it out.”

“Zachariah can be quite persuasive.”  
“Remind me to avoid ‘Zachariah’ then. Any other bright ideas?”

Deafening silence engulfed the men once more, both sitting as they had done all those years ago, staring out at the looped memory.

 “I will be right back.” Dean watched Castiel intently “I’m back, it could work I suppose...”

 “Dude you haven’t moved.”

“Of course I have Dean, I am a celestial being, please try not to be ridiculous. I have word that Joshua is still speaking to God.”

“Like _the_ God.”

“How many other God’s do you know of that would be in direct communication with angels?”

“Sorry man, what does that mean?”

“I need your amulet.”

“I don’t have an am-“ Dean followed Cas’ gaze to the necklace Sam gave to him for Christmas when they were little. “No.”

“Dean please, it will help me find him.”  
“He’s not in Heaven?”

“No.”

“You _will_ give it back and if you lose it I _will_ kill you.”  
Hand waiting Castiel replied, “Only angels can kill angels.”

“Don’t count on it.”

Dean awoke next to Sam in his motel room, necklace and Cas gone.


	7. Just One Yesterday

_I thought of angels choking on their halos,_  
 _Get them drunk on rose water._  
 _See how dirty I can get them,_  
 _Pulling out their fragile teeth and clip their tiny wings._

Just because Dean didn’t hear from Cas, didn’t mean he stopped praying. Not this time. It calmed Dean somewhat to think that Cas could still hear him; he was out looking for God, trying to help him and his brother, the least he could do is have the guy’s back.

_Cas, I’m here if you need me. Just let me know._

Things progressively went from bad to worse. The omens were getting more vicious and the nests were starting to accumulate with other nests. Protecting the Alpha was Dean’s best guess as more seals were broken. He and Sam continued to hunt, trying to thin the herd of monsters and shield innocent people who didn’t know better. When they needed help to find objects, or came across real trouble, Dean called Cas and he would be there - as though he never left his side. 

When Cas did speak to Dean, he asked him to do some very difficult tasks – but currently Dean was willing to ignore it because Cas had needed him. And he wasn’t about to leave his friend hanging when the poor guy is searching for a deadbeat Dad. Even if their last escapade left Dean in hospital. All was going as smoothly as it could (considering it was the apocalypse) until…

 “Hey Deano.”

“Do I know you?”

“No. But I know you and your brother.”

  
“Zachariah.”

“So the little traitor running around in a trench coat did tell you about me.”  
“Cas- Castiel is no traitor.”  
“That loyalty thing you humans do is just adorable. We need to talk.”

“I’m busy, try coming back… How about never?”  
The man standing before him bristled, from his newly polished shoes to the fraying white prickles at the top of his head.

“How about you clear your schedule.”

“How about no.”

He grabbed Dean’s shoulder and before he could protest, Dean was standing in an old fashioned room, decorated in elaborate gold and white. _Fricking angels._

“Son of a bitch! Take me back.”  
“First we talk. Then, depending on what you say, I will take you back to that filthy motel room.”

Turning away from Zachariah, Dean swore to himself. _No you won’t, fucking angels!_

_Cas I don’t know if you can hear me but, er, Zachariah got me. Just in case you were wondering where I was…_

“You know it’s funny, you were actually meant to die! Many, many times had you tiptoed so close to death, yet without you none of this would have been possible!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Hello Dean.”

“Cas?!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean could see Zachariah’s smug, chubby little face.

“Guess I’ll leave you two to talk! Back in a few _Cas_.”

“Cas, what the hell? What are _you_ doing here?” Castiel did not answer in words but instead he pushed against Dean’s shoulder forcing him into the chair.

“You need to say yes.”

“What you just give up your search for God or something?” He scoffed back dubious.

It was at this moment that Zachariah popped back into the room, “Gave up ages ago actually, and he’s been chatting with The King of the Crossroads.”

“Crowley?! You went and spoke to fucking Crowley before coming to speak to me?”

The angel stood, hand still holding Dean down, silent.

“Cas?”

_Dean?_

_Cas! What the Hell! You’re making deals with demons now, that’s a new low for an angel._

_Dea-_

_No you listen to me Cas, we, whatever this is, I… We’re like family man. And you’ve fucking ignored me again._

_DEAN! Where are you?_

_Are you kidding, you know where I am. You’re standing right next to me!_

_No… oh, it’s worse than I thought. Dean, that is not me. That is my vessel; they must have shut me out... There must be another angel from my garrison inside. He would have to be very old to have my… Raphael perhaps?!_

Ripped suddenly by his thoughts by a loud clap of hands, Dean visibly flinched away from Zachariah, who was situated mere centimetres from his face.

“Wouldn’t want you falling asleep at the grand finale, how about you make this easy and say yes hmm?!”

_Cas, I think they’re about to break the final seal._

_That is why I was speaking with Crowley. I am truly sorry for not coming to see you first Dean._

All Dean could think of doing was trying to draw sigils, now that not-Cas had finally moved away and the other dick had scuttled back to the wall on the other side of the room. Inconspicuously, Dean slid a small knife from his sleeve and made a small cut on his hand.

_Dean what are you doing?_

_Is there a way to get you back in your vessel? Or like get Raphael out?_

_Dean whatever you are thinking don’t, it’s too dangerous._

_Fucking dicks with wings, even when you are trying to help them._

For a minute he was really stumped, blood seeping out from his hand, then he made the only play he could see. Searching through Castiel’s mind (the real Cas) he found the Enochian words and sigil to expel an angel from a vessel. Afterwards he just needed to expel _all_ the angels from the room. Finally, all he had to do was get _out_ of the room.

_I am so fucked._

Carefully, trying not to attract attention, he began on the first drawing under the table. He chose not to complete it fully and started on the next one.

_This is it._

_Dean stop!_

Smearing the last drop of blood on the first sigil, Cas’ vessel did not move. It was almost as if…

_Shit. Shit, shit, son of a -_

Zachariah was striding over, no longer hiding the sheer fury in his withered features.

“What are you doing Winchester?! Jimmy get him!”

The tip of the angel blade sliced a shallow cut through Dean’s cheek.

“Jimmy?” Dean stammered pausing for a millisecond, “This is for Cas you son of a bitch.”

He slammed his hand against the base of the table, the room filled with light and a stifled scream from Zachariah. The brightness burned with such intensity that Dean had to cover his eyes with his arm.  Leaping up, Dean thumped ‘Jimmy’ in the face, his body slumped to the floor.

Shifting his jaw, he realised things had gone better than he had expected.

_Dean! Dean?! You had better be alive._

_Cas how do I get out of this room._

_You mean you’re not dead?_

_Now who’s playing stupid? This room, I’ve checked, has no doors._

_It does, walk to the furthest wall from you. There should be a white angel statue. The door is there._

_Cas who is Jimmy? And why aren’t you back in your vessel?_

Quickly hoisting the vessel (Jimmy) over his shoulder Dean moved to the door; just as Cas had said, he and Jimmy collapsed out into an abandoned warehouse.

It’s inside a fucking warehouse?! The angels are even more a bunch of dicks than Dean previously thought. He made his way outside, the sun just starting to hide below the horizon. Leaning the unconscious body against a car, Dean smashed the window and unlocked the doors.

_Cas still needs the body._

Softly, he laid him in the back seat then hot-wired the car.

_Dean, the connection with my vessel is lost._

_How do we get that back exactly?_

_Well, I am still bonded with you so I am not completely broken…_

_If I establish a connection with your vessel, you should be able to mend the bond enough to get back in?_

_Theoretically, yes._

Dean drove to the nearest motel and brought a room for the night. Next he called Sam, checking that the massive Sasquatch was ok and bringing him up to speed with Lucifer and Cas.

“Dean, thank God you’re ok.”  
“More like thank me I’m ok.”

“You’ve been gone for a week! Where the hell have you been?”

“A _week?_ Dicks with wings nabbed me, time must move differently in the box they had me in. Sam, I think Lucifer’s out.”

“I know.”

“Wha-“

“You were gone, Cas wasn’t answering so I went the other way…”

“Demons?”

“Ruby.”

“Ruby. Great. How’d that work out for you?”

“I… I broke the final seal.”

“Oh Sammy.”

He was crying at the other end of the line. “I know.”

“Hey, hey it’s ok, Sammy listen to me. Where is Ruby now?”  
“I killed her after she tricked me into killing Lilith.”

“Ok, well that’s good, I guess. Where are _you_?”

“Virginia, first motel when you come off route 85.”

“Ok well, we aren’t too far. I want you to stay there, ok Sammy? You are going to stay there and I’m going to fix Cas then we will be right over ok?”

“I’m so sorry Dean.”

“It’s ok little brother. Oh and Sammy?”

“Yeah Dean?”

“If you see him… In like a dream or something, don’t you dare say yes. Or I will kick your ass till you’re hospitalised.”

“… I won’t Dean.”

As he clicked the phone shut he let his body fall back until his head hit the board with a dull thud. A shiver chased down his spine as he remembered his own nightmares.

_Why can’t my family fucking consult me prior to doing something stupid? First Cas now Sam, and Lucifer’s out – confirmed._

_You know I can hear you?_

_Yeah._

_I’m truly sorry Dean._

In a state of disbelief at how fucked up his life is, he turned his attention to Cas who was laying on the bed beside him. He has never had to re-establish a link between an angel and his vessel before. Sighing, he thought of all the things he and Cas had been through together; maybe talking to the corpse will help?

“Remember when we first met, and we stared at each other for ages and ages. I kept thinking about how blue your eyes are…”

Nothing happened.

_I guess this means more to us now than before._

“If Heaven’s grief brings hell’s reign

Then I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday,

(I know I’m bad news)

For just one yesterday

(I saved it all for you)

Oh, I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way,

Still I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday,

(I know I’m bad news),

For just one yesterday,

(I saved it all for you),

For just one yesterday.”

 

_Are you singing?_

_Shut up._

_I recognise this._

_I was singing it when we first met._

_You have a very nice voice Dean._

_Seriously Cas, shut up. If you tell Sam I swear._

“I’m so sorry Cas,” Dean spoke his voice nearly breaking (and clearly in some place different than his head), he took the strangely warm hand of the man, “I need you to come back Cas. I need you to know.”

The hand clutched back.

_I can feel you Dean, I can almost reach._

“Cas?”

_It is working._

Singing louder now with more conviction Dean continued,

“Letting people down is my thing, baby.  
Find yourself a new gig.  
This town ain't big enough for two of us.  
I don't have the right name, or the right looks,  
But I have twice the heart.

Anything you say can and will be held against you,  
So only say my name, it will be held against you.  
Anything you say can and will be held against you,  
So only say my - .”

“D… Dean. DEAN!”

“Cas! Well it’s about damn time.” Composing himself Dean couldn’t take his hand from Castiel’s, who was gripping it back. Cas could think of nothing better to wake up to than those bright green forests of Dean’s eyes staring at him, slightly shaded by exhaustion and relief.

_You don’t believe that do you?_

_It’s my gig Cas._

_“_ You did it.”

Dean pulled him into a hug.

“Dean? Dean you’re bleeding.” Grasping tighter to the fabric of the angels dirty trench coat, Dean buried his face in the crook of Cas’ neck. He didn’t want to let go, he didn’t want to take the chance of Cas leaving him again; Dean hasn’t felt like this since… Ever. _I am such a girl._

Even if Cas had of wanted to push Dean away (not that he did) he completely believed it would not be possible. Dean held him so tight, the sensation shared through touch made Cas feel happy and cripplingly heartbroken at the same time. Pushing gently on Dean’s arm, he smiled at him, “I’m not going anywhere Dean.” Nodding, Dean went to lean back in and may have curled up against the warmth of Cas there and then had Cas not put his fingers to Dean’s head.

Nothing happened.

“That’s off.”  
“My grace. It is still with me. I believe this is because Lucifer has risen, they must have cut part of me off from the Host.” His head tilted at Dean again, “I’m sorry I cannot fix your face.”  
Dean laughed, “That an ugly joke Cas?”

“Of course not Dean, I think that of your species you are a very attractive specimen.”

Blushing hard, Dean attempted to clear his throat. “I’ll see if the room has a first aid kit.”

He went to the bathroom and returned a few moments later with a small box in his hand. Cas had not moved from the side of the bed. Naturally taking his place back at his side, Dean sat down, laying out the needle, thread and alcohol beside him. Going to thread the needle he felt Cas’ hand on his other arm.

“Please, let me.”

Shrugging, Dean turned to face Cas, both of them adjusting on the bed until they were comfortably sitting legs crossed and knees touching.

In a pleasant silence, Dean winced as Cas cleaned the wound. Eyes not leaving Cas, he watched as he pushed the needle through his skin, pausing to check if Dean was alright, before continuing his stitching. Once finished, he tied the stitch off; they did not move, Cas’ gaze rising up to hold Dean’s.

“Where did you learn to do that?”

“A boy I met a long time ago was hurt. His brother showed me how to fix him. “

“His brother taught you well.”

Dean was so glad that Cas was back that he closed his eyes, holding onto the feeling of Cas’ breath so close to his skin. They were both moving unconsciously toward each other, barely anything between their lips when Dean snapped back into the moment.

“We need to get to Sammy.”

With that the time for action passed, though Dean could still feel the desire sitting in his stomach. If Cas felt the same he did not talk about it, only stood to clear away the kit from the bed and then making his way to the door.

“I’m really happy that you are safe, Dean.”

“It’s the apocalypse. Enjoy it while it lasts.”


	8. Blood Pressure

_Why can't you, be more like your older brother_  
 _Why can't you, ooh (blood pressure)_  
 _Why can't you, do a little more for Jesus_  
 _Why can't you, (blood pressure) ooh_  
 _Ah ah_  
  
 _Blood pressure_  
 _Do better_  
 _Keep rising_  
 _Blood pressure_  
  
 _You're on the road, on a road that's bound for nowhere_  
 _Why don't you do what you're told? Blood pressure_

_  
_

Dean considered their options:

Steal a car (Sammy had Baby) or have Cas zap them.

_I don’t know how much strength I have._

_Look man, you need to rest and I need to get to Sammy. I can’t look after you both unless we are all together and you know if there was a better way I would choose it. Flying messes with me._

_I do not require looking after Dean._

_Tell that to the fact you’ve been chatting up Crowley._

_I hope this works._

Bending his legs slightly, he felt the reassurance of Cas’ hand on his shoulder. With a gust of air, they were standing in a motel parking lot. Cas’ body slumped, blood oozing from his nose.

“Cas? Cas, God damn it!”

“We made it. I am very surprised.” He slurred in reply, before slipping completely out of consciousness.

Dean carried him, one hand on his waist, shoulder supporting Cas’ strong frame. Slowly, he walked them to the office, asking for the name he knew his brother would book in as, cracking some joke about his friend having one too many and starting a fight when he noticed the suspicious look from the clerk.

Lying was so easy now it was almost scary.

Knocking on the door, he was glad to look up at his brother again, though a pang of pain surged through him at the bloodshot look of his brother’s eyes, dark circles clinging to his face in a fierce sleepless hold.

“Hey Sammy.”

Carefully, much as he did for his brother as a child, Dean laid Cas onto the free bed; trying to hide the look of fear from his face. After, he turned to his brother and hugged him tight. Pulling away, Sam huffed, voice still taut with crying.

“What happened to him.”  
“Apparently Lucifer getting out of the box has shut him off from Heaven or something? I don’t really know to be honest.”

“Dean, I am really sorry.”  
“No point dwelling Sammy, we need to get Bobby on this, hell, Ellen, Jo and Ash if we have to. We got to find a way to fix this.”

Nodding absently, Sam sat on the edge of the bed and reached for his phone.

“I’ll do it Sam, try and get some sleep.” There it is again, Dean being Sam’s protector, even after everything. _There’s nothing more important than family_. Smiling softly, Dean took the phone and went to sit in the chair facing the two beds.

“This is it, one demon butt buddy, Mr. Comatose and a high school drop out with less than $6 to his name. Team Free Will baby.”

Sam couldn’t find the energy to retaliate, his guilt eating away at his head from the inside, instead chose to lay down in the comforting knowledge that Dean and Cas were ok. That he was ok. For now.

“Sam, you idji-?”  
“Hey Bobby.”  
“Dean you _idjit_ where the hell have you been?”

“Long story Bobby, the short version is that the angels took me, now I’m out and so is Lucifer.”  
“Balls.”  
“I’ll say. So I was wondering if you could look into some way of icing the Devil. ”

“You want to ice the _Devil_?”

“You don’t?”  
“I’m just saying I don’t reckon it’s even possible. Have you asked that angel of yours?”

“He’s _not_ my angel, and no, he’s kinda sleeping at the moment.”  
“Hell of a time to be sleepin’.”

“Look Bobby, just see what you can find alright, it’s been one of those kind of days for all of us.”

Despite feeling like he hadn’t slept in years, Dean remained awake to watch over the other two occupants of the room. _My_ family. The thought shocked him – after everything Cas had done, hell he’d _died_ to save Dean – he definitely ranks high enough on crazy to be considered a Winchester. Time trickled by and he was almost drifting off into slumber, head held on his hand when the room began to shake violently.

“Woah!”

Sam and Cas woke up immediately as two _other_ angels stood in the room.

“Uriel, Zachariah?” Cas’ voice was thick with sleep and genuine surprise.

“Castiel, what are you doing back in your vessel? And,” disgust in his tone, “with the Winchester’s?” Uriel spoke first. Zachariah was eyeing Dean with a menacing glare when his attention turned immediately to Sam.

“Congratulations Sam, we have much to thank you for.”  
Silently, Sam glowered back.

“Letting our brother out of the box and bringing forth the apocalypse. Why yes, we have a lot to thank you boys for.”

Uriel nodded in agreement. “Without you, we wouldn’t be able to achieve paradise. And all you have to do now is say yes!”

_Got a plan yet Cas._

_I’m thinking Dean, though the human aspect of my body seems to be affecting me more at the moment. I have an almost undeniable urge to hit Uriel._

_Get in line._

“So you dicks actually wanted this to happen?” Dean snorted.

Zachariah turned to face him. “Aw, feeling neglected Dean? Of course, you broke the first seal and your brother broke the last. Amusing how things come around full circle.”

“I did what now?!”  
The older angel eyed Castiel curiously… “He did not tell you?”

Staring at Cas, trying desperately to hold back the hurt he felt from his face, Dean ground out. “No, he didn’t.”

_I’m sorry Dean._

_Yeah Cas. You keep saying that._

Suddenly, the room was filled with another burst of blinding white light. When the men opened their eyes, the two unwelcome visitors had been replaced with another.

“Look,” Dean spoke wearily, “if you’re here to give the sarcy congratulations speech, save it. I’m saying no, he’s saying no,” pointing at Sam who was perched speechless on the bed, “and you ain’t getting your fricking paradise.”

“Talk about starting out on the wrong foot, who kick started your apocalypse?” The man chimed cheerfully.

“Gabriel?” Speaking up for the first time since Dean had glared at him, Cas questioned the new angel.

“Sup bro.”

“Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in millennia.”  
“Protection, from my massive dick brothers. I heard you’ve been making some choices of your own, good for you bro.”

“Hate to break up the reunion, but if you’re not here to increase our problems, or gloat in them, why are you here?”

“Straight to the point this one,” Gabriel winked at Castiel, “I’m here to help.”

Sam piped up, “You are?”  
“Well hello there, you been hiding for a reason, gigantor? Take it this is Clyde,” squinting at Dean, “which makes you Bonnie.”  
“Dude, they were like man and wife.” Dean recoiled.

“I was going for brains and brawn.”

Stopping for a second, Dean retorted, “Sherlock and John did not suffice?”  
“Everyone knows those two are gay for each other, Dean, so in that case it would be more like you and Castiel over there.”

Snickering Sam gave Gabriel thumbs up of approval, while Dean went to retaliate before shutting his mouth, returning to his chair and Cas looked as perplexed as ever.

“So you really think you can help, brother?”

“I remember Lucifer, being older than you Cas, and I saw how this went down last time. It wasn’t pretty. God shut Lucifer in his box for being loyal to him, and the first thing Lucifer will do is clear the planet of the little mud people I have become so fond of.”  
“And it’s all my fault.” Sam spoke slowly. Gabriel gave Sam an uneasy look and shook his head.

_Can we trust him Cas?_

_I am unsure; he disappeared a long time ago. But, he has not lied to us yet. He is an archangel, and is far more powerful than me. Dean I want to talk to you about –_

_Bigger fish to fry Cas._

_I do not understand that reference._

“Honestly, it was going to happen either by alphas or by you. Well for the prophecy it works better if it is you, but hey, who needs a prophecy with you three knuckle heads? You’ve already started messing with the script.” He looked to Dean and Cas now who were watching each other intently. “Am I missing something here?”

“No, do continue.” Evenly, Cas replied. Gabriel flicked between them a few seconds longer but was overcome by his fervent story to tell.

“Where was I? Yes, so, in order to wipe you out he will need to set the horsemen free.”

Dean emerged from his sulking, “Horsemen.”

“Yes war, famine, pestilence and death.” Gabriel rattled them off as if they meant nothing.

“Death, like, _the_ death.” Entering the conversation Sam stood up. “How do we stop him?”

“Erhm, _we_ don’t.”

Castiel joined in, “We don’t?”

Sighing, as if this should be common knowledge to all Gabriel told them, “No, we don’t. You need the horsemen’s power to lock good old Luci back in the box. After you avoid all the angels and Lucifer and Michael and locate the horsemen and work out what gives them their power so you can combine it to open the lock.”  
“Their power’s the key to the cage?”  
“Very good Sam, you know what Cas, I like him more than you already.” Gabriel beamed at Cas then back at Sam, who had a smile breaking his once melancholy face. Was it a smile, or had Gabriel just brought them hope?

“How do we ice him?” Dean asked.

Frowning Gabriel replied, “Once he is in Sam, he will be unstoppable, the only weapon that might even come close would be the colt or well, Michael. But hey, that’s just a rumour and you boys are saying _no_ right!” he scanned the faces before him, “First things first.” He snapped his fingers and the room was filled with thousands of types of candy. “I’m starving.”

They stood in disbelief at the colour and sickly smell of the motel room, but even Dean could not contain a giggle at Cas’ fuming exterior with a candy cane hooked over his ear, sweet necklaces hanging from his neck and the fact that he was taking what looked like gobstoppers from his pockets. For a fleeting second Dean imagined sucking the necklace around Cas’ neck...

Quickly and deliberately, Gabriel took a gummy snake that had fallen in Sam’s hair, if for nothing more than Sam’s shy reaction and the way it made Dean remember himself and bristle.

“Gabriel this is not funny.”  
“But Cas you look adorable.” He grinned, then the looks from three worn out and now un-amused men dampened his spirits, “Fine, kill joys, this is one of the perks of being a trickster.” Snapping his fingers, the air returned to a state of musty-mould. “Here’s the real deal.” Gently leaning forward and placing a hand on Sam’s chest, his body glowed for a moment before turning to the advancing Dean and doing the same. “Angel warding. You’re welcome.”

“They will protect you from all angels; you should be safe until we have some kind of real plan.”

“Right so if icing the devils out, it’s all about the horsemen.” Sam was feeling much better with the presence of Gabriel but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. Maybe it was the way he managed to piss Dean off.

_How do we find the horsemen Cas?_

_Biblical events are usually good places to start._

_And until then?_

_We carry on hunting?_

_We?_

\---

Gabe had taken a seat next to me, both of us watching intrigued and amused as Dean and Cas stared at each other attentively, their faces contorting and eyebrows knitting. Popping a bowl of popcorn between us, he gave me a mischievous smile. We dipped in watching the expression match as it continued on, both of them obviously oblivious to the rest of the room.

“Hey guys?”  
Their stares didn’t waver.

“Me and Sam are going to get a puppy.” I looked at Gabe and smiled, then he clicked his fingers and the most adorable brown haired fur ball was licking my hand.

“Awwwww.”

“He kind of looks like you, ha.” Sucking at his lollipop he ruffled the puppy’s hair in my lap.

Cas and Dean remained unmoved.

\---

Although they didn’t actually need to be facing each other, they both felt drawn to each other’s eyes. Oceans held forests in swift currents, while leaves blanketed the sky from view.

“Yap! Yap, yapp!”

_Can you hear a dog barking?_

_Yes… I thought maybe I was imagining it._

They broke eye contact.

“Sam,” he had his patient brother face on, “why is there a puppy on your lap,” looking around he continued,”why are the walls pink and DEAR GOD WHY IS GABRIEL NAKED?!”

The click of fingers brought everything back into focus.

“I have a question, Deano, what is going on between you and Cas?”

Silence met the question.

“Dean and I share a more… Profound bond.”

_Yeah you can explain this one Cas._

_It is probably for the best, should I tell them everything?_

_Erhm, maybe just enough to …_

“Whenever you are ready to continue.”

“Yeah don’t hold back on account of us.” Snickering at each other they awaited someone to respond. Of course it was Cas.

“When I raised Dean from Hell, a part of my soul was branded on his and a similar to mine. Due to this, Dean and I can feel what each other are thinking.” It wasn’t the exact truth but hey, what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them.

“So, you two can like communicate.”

“Man, they weren’t joking when they said you were corrupted by his touch bro.”

Cas frowned, “I do not see it as being corrupted.”

“Wait, wait wait! Back in Idaho, you were like shaking and freaking out before we even knew what happened to Dean. That was years before… Hell.”

“I prayed.”

“I’m sorry what?! Dean you have never prayed and you _always_ made fun of me when I did.”

“It was a sign of faith. In me.”

“I think we have had enough chick flick moments for today. Cas, I know your angel mogo is down, how about you Gabriel?”

“I still got mine, why, what are you thinking?”

“We need to look out for biblical omens, I guess, to catch up with Lucifer and get to the horsemen.”

  
“I’ll see what I can do.” He sat still for a moment. “My feelers are out.”

“You didn’t move!” Sam exasperated.

“Angels Sammy.” Shaking his head at his brother, Dean returned to Cas’ side, wondering if that’s the same face he gave Cas when he had ‘left’. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have done the ending, but writing the next chapters is killing me! Will try to get my ass in order to have another up by the end of the week. :) Thanks for reading.


	9. Green Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, sorry this took so long! Next chapter may be a couple of weeks, exams grr. Will try my bestest though! Thanks for reading y'all :)

_Honey you are a rock_  
 _Upon which I stand_  
 _And I come here to talk_  
 _I hope you understand_

_The green eyes_  
 _Yeah, the spotlight shines upon you_  
 _And how could_  
 _Anybody deny you?_

_I came here with a load_  
 _And it feels so much lighter now I've met you_  
 _An' honey you should know_  
 _That I could never go on without you_

Just as Cas had suggested, the two angels and the two brothers began to hunt, all the while watching for signs of Lucifer. They made a good team, for what Gabriel lacked in funny jokes, he made up for in his sheer power. Cas and Sam usually did the research while Gabe and Dean dealt with food, films and pranks. Weeks past, and gradually the brothers and the angels had started to get separate rooms; Sam and Gabe needed some ‘alone time’. It was the first time Dean and Sam would be in the middle of a shit storm, lovers, with fricking _angels_ at their side but spending it apart.

Not that Dean really minded. He was ever going to admit it, but him and Cas, these times they were alone (and despite it being the end of the world) were his favourite times of day. It wasn’t like with Lisa; both of them were strong and hunters, well an angel, it was so much more than that... This was Cas - his best friend, his comrade and someone who he had asked a lot of lately.

_Gabriel thinks we may have found the first horseman._

_‘Bout damn time. Which one is it?_

_I don’t know. But like I said, this has all the omens that would be associated with a biblical event._

_Great. Where is it?_

_And there fell a great star from Heaven, burning like a torch. And it fell upon a river, and the name of the star was Wormwood, and many men died._

_You could have just said New Mexico. Guess we set off in the morning, I better get my 4 hours._

_Goodnight Dean._

_Don’t watch me sleep Cas._

_Alright, Dean._

As Dean drifted off into a light slumber, Cas laid down in the bed beside him fully clothed. He would never understand why it would be necessary to change when the clothes he was wearing were perfectly suitable for sleeping in. _Maybe_ _that is something Dean could..._  Angels did not require sleep, but since Lucifer, he found it essential sometimes. Plus it gave him a reason to watch over Dean without raising suspicion.

A small smile graced his lips when he heard the muffled:

“G’night buddy.”

Finding himself facing Dean, even within slumber, comforted Cas most of the time. He had seen a lot, just like Dean, and sometimes Cas wondered what being human would do to him - would he be able to cope with turning his back on his brothers, working with a cross road demon and once again changing fate? If angels had anxiety, this would definitely be it for Cas.

He reeled in his sleep.

_“No what are you doing? Get away from him.”_

_Trying desperately to move towards the heap on the floor, Cas found his feet glued to the spot. Everything came crashing down on him at once; God is gone, Raphael is trying to take over Heaven, Crowley may hold the solution, the apocalypse is coming and Dean. Oh Dean._

“Hey Cas, hey.” Gently shaking the man, he held the angels shoulders. Shivers went down Cas spine, he was violently shuddering and he felt cold. _So cold._ Prior to either of them realising what had happened, Cas, the unemotional and socially awkward angel, had his arms wrapped around Dean’s waist holding him close.

“Hey, Cas it’s ok. I’m here.”

“I went to Crowley because I need help to beat Raphael. In Heaven. Where you cannot go unless you die.”

Sighing, Dean subconsciously was rubbing small circles into Cas’ back, just like he used to do for Sam. “You still should have talked to me about it man.”

“Dean Winchester, you have the emotional equivalent of a brick! When we talk, like we are now, you shut off and call it a ‘chick-flick moment’. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS.”

Dean pulled away his brow creasing. “As much as I would love to hash it out with you, we are going to face a horseman tomorrow and I need to sleep. If you are done, you can let go now.”

Castiel frowned. It was their first fight and he was mad at Dean for being mad at him for trying to protect him! With a flutter of wings he was gone, leaving Dean alone in the motel room.

It was strange, Dean was so angry it was like he had shut Castiel out in the cold. Perhaps he wouldn’t come back.

\---

I didn’t ask Dean where Cas was. He looked upset and frustrated and believe me, that is not the Dean Winchester I want to be on the wrong side of at the moment. Besides, if anything was up, Gabe would find Cas. He always did.

We chased through the city, Gabriel repeating how much ‘he didn’t like it’. It was quiet, the kind of quiet that makes my trigger finger itchy and my pulse raise to match the electricity in the air. We had ditched out of the impala to move into the town further.

“Gabe you getting anything?”

“No Sam I’m not. Pretty sure I’m blocked by this stupid place.”

Carefully, we navigated through the ghost town until sudden movement catches all our attention. Dean does the signal and we circle in, Gabe at my side.

“Ellen?!”

“Hey boys.”

So that’s how we end up following Ellen back to a base room that she has set up with the survivors she found in town. Me and Gabe had sat together at the back of the room, shotguns still on our laps, while Dean began trying to get a grasp of the situation.

“Where’s Jo, Ellen?”  
“She got taken. I was looking for her when I found you boys.” She eyed Gabriel next to me; I forcibly balled my hands into fists.

“Then we gotta go get her. What are you two doing here anyway?”

“Omens Dean.” She lowered her voice now as the shock of the imminent apocalypse would be like telling a fish it can’t swim in water for these civilians. Let alone the existence of demons. As a result I missed the rest of their conversation.

Pulling me off to the side Dean prepped me on what was going on.

“Demons Sammy. Demons got Jo god damn it. ‘parently there are demons blocking the way out too, couple back there,” he motioned towards a absent looking man and a young woman, “almost got killed trying to leave the city. So... Plan?”

“Obviously go and get Jo.”

He stared at me then and whistled to get Gabriel’s attention; he was still sat in the chair, his eyes sweeping the room suspiciously.

“What’s the word Deano.”

“Do we know what the horseman is going to look like? Different eyes, weird hair, funny hat?”

“Nope.”

“Great. Well someone has got to stay here and protect these people in case of an attack. We can set up the room with traps before we leave.”

“I vote me and Sam stay. Horsemen hate angels and you know how you get around demons Sam.” It was a low blow but I could hear the unease in his tone. Surprisingly, Dean nodded in agreement.

“Me and Ellen can find Jo and get to the horseman.”

“Dean, no.” I carried on interrupting their protests, “I can handle myself fine. Ruby’s gone, remember? And don’t you for a second think you are going after a _horseman_ alone. Just no, man. What about Ca-“

“I’ve tried trust me. It’s like he has shut me out? I don’t know. But we have bigger problems right now.”

“I’ll stay here and Sheppard the flock then.”

“Think you can manage that without your usual dose of angel dick mogo?”

“Guys. Let’s just get the traps drawn and go ok?”

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up with a couple of children.

\---

Dean led the merry band of three across the streets. There had been no sign of any demon activity yet and it was making him increasingly nervous.

_Hey... Cas. Look I’m sorry ok? You know we are like family... I just. Would be nice to know you have my back; it’s only a horseman we are after._

Raising his fist, he motioned for Ellen and Sam to stop. Across the street was derelict building, people (demons) stood surveying the rest of the road outside. Making their way back along the street to the back of the house, Dean was forced to gank a demon who was patrolling outside. It wasn’t that he felt bad for the demon, but inside that monster was a normal person being possessed. When they finally made it to the back door, they were jumped by Jo, Rufus and some other dude.

“Joanna Beth!”

“Get the Hell out of my mom!”

As they were struggling against each other, they were all really confused, Ellen had been with them the whole time; there was no way she was possessed. _Why would Jo think...?_ The thought was knocked out by the dull clunk on metal on the side of Dean’s head.

\---

“What the hell Ellen?! Why would Jo think you were a demon, that _we_ are demons?” I shouted as we dashed away from the house.

They got Dean but we had no choice. Running back through the labyrinth of streets, we shot at the demons chasing us and crashed back into the small base.

“Now we have to find Jo and get Dean.” I sighed, Gabriel bounding up to join me, “Hey Gabe.”

“You two are seriously hopeless without me! I tried calling Cassie by the way, no answer yet. Could be the city you know, or he’s still skulking over Dean.”

“I don’t know why Dean doesn’t just tell him, it’s clear they like each other.” Answering, I went over to the table where Gabe had started to assemble weapons with the others. “Won’t matter much if we don’t get to Dean.”

“She thought I was a demon... And we think she’s a demon. It doesn’t make any sense.” Ellen looked absolutely shattered; worst of all she was right, none of this made any sense.

The flutter of wings beside me dragged me from my deliberations, Gabriel stood with a bible in his hands.

“Many men died... Many men... What if there are no demons? What if it’s like an illusion or something? I mean, I don’t want to brag but, I was pulling easier stunts before I met you guys.”

\---

Miserably, blood seeped from the side of his face. Stretching to move his arms, his skin protested against the ropes wrapped around them. Dean tried to blink away the haze that was drowning his eyes. Fortunately, the cold splash of holy water sufficed to give him something other than an aching head to think about.

“Jo.” He winced, “Jo look at me, I’m not a demon!”

Rufus cut in, “You know who would say that? A demon.” Proceeding to force salt down Dean’s throat, Dean chocked and gagged trying to move away but finding himself unable to break the restraints.

Relief was short lived as Rufus and Jo stepped outside to have a more private conversation. Irritably scraping his teeth to remove the salt from his suffocating tongue, his mouth was too dry to spit it out.

_Cas. It would be really fucking great if you could get here you son of a bitch. I’m not sure who’s a demon and who’s just crazy._

“Dean Winchester. This is such an honour.”

Dean hadn’t even realised someone else in the room; the fact that this old guy in a sharp suit and knew who he was could only be bad.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.”

“No, but it’s you that I serve thanks for letting me and brothers free!” He flexed his fingers, moving closer to Dean. “Feels good to be _free._ ”

“Dumb move jackass.” With all his strength he lunged forward, head butting the suit guy before falling forward in the devils trap with an undignified thud. Footsteps and shouting hauled Dean up in his chair, Jo giving him a smack on the cheek for good measure.

“I.. I don’t know what happened. I thought I would bring him some water and the creature lunged at me!” The suited man fiddled with his ring as he spoke. When Dean finally found his senses to look up, his eyes must have been black because Rufus was now trying to exorcise him.

“I’m not a dem-“Just as he was about to finish that thought, he saw Cas standing beside him, which caused him to look at Jo and Rufus because Cas is _right there._ But they were oblivious. Revelation hit Dean like a two tonne truck.

_Cas you going to get me out of here or stand there looking pretty?_

_Dean... I was unaware you could see me._

_You were going to stay invisible girl while we kill each other? There are no demons Cas, but I can’t figure out ho-_

_It is war. The one who just left._

They were taken from their mind chat but the sounds of shouting and gun fire.

“Sammy! It’s not demons, don’t shoot to kill!”

“Dean,” He crashed through the door, Gabriel close behind, ”Hey, yeah, I don’t know how but we must be hallucinating or something.”

“It’s war. The horseman.”

“Cassie! Nice of you to join us, you and Dean kiss and make up or what?”

Dean shook his wrists out of the ropes, “We can share stories later, we need to go and get war’s ring before he leaves.”

“The ring?”

“It’s how he gets his power, shit, we need the four rings!”

White feathers folded out behind Gabriel, Sam gasped as he looked at them “No time to lose then.” He held Sam, Dean and Cas for a second. Just as war was putting his key into the door, Sam and Dean cornered him against the car; the angels took up a watch a safe distance away.

“Boys, really, you have to take me to dinner first. You realise you can’t kill me right?”

Dean whipped Ruby’s knife from his pocket while Sam held war’s hand out, “Who said we were going to kill you?” He sliced through the flesh and the finger fell to the ground with a small clatter as the ring made contact with the pavement.

War stumbled away from the men. “You just... You cannot stop my brothers.” He disappeared.

Sam picked the crimson ring from the floor, it was thin and gold with a small gem, “This is what gives war his power?” The angels navigated to their human’s sides,

“Not exactly fancy is it?”

“Not like your wings Gabe! Their totally awesome and the purest white I have ever seen! Jesus!” Dean and Cas watched their brothers share an embrace, Sam securing the ring safe in his pocket, before sharing a heartfelt glance towards each other.

_White wings huh._

_I have always been different._

_I like different. Besides your wings are the coolest fucking shit I have ever seen in my life._ Reaching a hand out, Dean gently caressed the top of Cas’ wing, causing the angel to shiver at the touch.

“Let’s get back to baby. I need to sleep.”

Cas stared into the green of Dean's eyes a little longer, the words he had spoken renewing every feeling he had ever had for him. He fell into step easily behind him, human emotions causing him to fight the urge to grab hold of Dean's hand as Sam and Gabriel were. 


	10. How You Remind Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while guys! So here is Famine oooh scary! Just got pestilence then death and i will have all the chapters up! Who knows you might get lucky and get two tonight! Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy.

_Never made it as a wise man_  
 _I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing_  
 _Tired of living like a blind man_  
 _I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling_  
 _And this is how you remind me_

_This is how you remind me_  
 _Of what I really am_  
 _This is how you remind me_  
 _Of what I really am_

Dean tried to remember the exact point his life went crazy – was it when he made his first kill? Spoke his first exorcism? Went to Hell? Came back? All this running through his head as a chubby naked man clung to him from behind, parts of him touching where Dean _really_ didn’t want to think about. Thank Christ he moved on to Cas because Dean was about 3 more seconds of that awkward hug away from hitting the guy.

_Cupid. Fucking Cupid Cas?_

_It is the only link we have._

Smirking at Cas, who wasn’t particularly inept at social displays of affection, being hugged by the little cherub almost made him get his phone out for a picture. Sam walked back into the room entering the embrace head on.

“What’s with the naked man hugging me!?”

“I’m Cupid silly.” The little man giggled.

“It’s their handshake,” Cas explained, shifting awkwardly.

“I don’t like it.” Dean scowled.

“Nobody likes it.” Cas sighed, joining Dean’s side so they were all surrounding the Cupid. “Cupid, why did you do it?”

“Do what honey?” _  
_Cas visibly bristled before answering. “Kill those people!” He pointed to the two dead people on the cold slabs of steel.

“Oh dear! I did nothing, except help them to find each other and fall in love.” At the start he was looking to the tables but his eyes flicked between Cas and Dean by the end.

“Stop lying! There is that symbol thingy on their heart then they ATE each other. Ate each other, explain that!” Dean’s patience was wearing thin.

“I don’t know!” He squealed as Dean’s fist connected with his face. Turmoil spread over the cherubs face and he turned away, sobbing loudly.

“Great now you’ve upset him.” A snarky voice from the doorway filled the room.

“Hey Gabe!” Sam practically lit up like a kid at Christmas, shy hugging Gabriel before joining back to Cas and Dean who were looking at each other trying to figure out what they should do next.

“Well he was pissing me off. Not helping at all.”

“He was telling the truth, Dean.”

“He hugged Sammy.”

Gabriel’s face dropped before he could control it and clinging back onto Sam possessively. Next thing Dean thought he would be hissing at Cupid.

“Brother calm down. Someone should go comfort him.” Cas interjected before it could get that far.

“He likes you best _honey_.” Unable to contain his grin, Cas glared at Dean.

“No one going to ask what I’m here for?” Gabriel sighed, “It’s the horseman famine, not Cupid’s fault.” Another squeal resounded from the little man, running to make a three way hug with Gabriel. Cas returned to Dean’s side, close enough their shoulders were touching, both of them laughing at the look of horror from Sam and Gabe.

“And then will come Famine, riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty. And great will be the Horseman's hunger for he is hunger. His hunger will seep out and poison the air.” Castiel’s gravelly voice spoke like he was reading a passage from the bible.

“But I thought hunger was like starvation,” Sam coughed from being constricted by an angel and a Cupid.

“Yes Sam, you are technically right. It is starvation for what you crave most. Love, alcohol, sex, burgers...” Cas drifted off and disappeared.

“Cas, what the hell?” He reappeared with a bag in his hand greedily shoving a burger into his mouth.

“My vessel craves red meat.” He spoke, as if that explained everything. “Famine is himself insatiable, as he embodies hunger. Once Famine's strength is replenished, he will then be able to march across the lands with authority.”

“Ok...? So how do we find famine?” Dean managed.

Breaking away from the embrace, Gabriel straightened himself. “He feeds on souls, that’s why those two are missing theirs. I think he has demons helping him out.”

“So, we wait for someone else to die and follow the soul snatcher?” Sam offered.

“Pretty much, not here though. Restaurant where Cupid’s next assignment is.” Gabriel spoke around the lollipop in his mouth.

With a shrug, they flew to the restaurant with Gabriel. The Cupid had disappeared after the hug had broken up, not wanting to hang around any longer.

It was really cheesy, big red hearts hanging _everywhere_ for Valentine’s Day. Cas seemed fascinated but Dean hated all that romance stuff, plus Gabe and Sam were going to make him puke with how cutesy they were being together.

“Guys, keep it PG I think I’m about to throw up.”

“Shut it Deano.” Gabriel grinned, holding Sam’s hand on the table.

Cas tried to be focused again, fighting the urge to do the same to Dean.

_Go for it little brother._

_No Gabriel. I... I couldn’t deal with the loss of his friendship if he doesn’t reciprocate._

_But he do-_

“He is here.” The slightest change of air in the room alerted Castiel to the presence of the Cupid. He scrutinised the tables around them; his eyes fell onto a couple sitting 2 tables over from them. “Those two.”

Watching them eat was like watching Cas try to understand who Ron Weasley is – time just drags irritably. Thankfully, Dean and Cas could talk inside his head because Gabe and Sam were doing something completely different with their mouths making it impossible to have a conversation.

_Ew._

_They’re just kissing Dean I don’t understand –_

_That’s my little brother man; forgive me for not jumping to see him making out. Like seriously ew._

_Gabriel is very happy._

_I know, Sam is too. I hope when this is over Sam gets out of the life and does something with Gabriel. Or whoever he wants, but I mean as much of a dick your brother is Cas, I actually like him._

_I’m sure they would both like that very much. You like Gabriel?_

_Yeah, but if you ever tell him I said that I will kill you._

_Your secret’s safe with me Dean._

Dean turned to face Cas, who met his eyes and held him there. His tongue ran across his bottom lip instinctively and Dean watched as Cas followed the movement... His Adam’s apple bobbing...

_Cas-_

“Ok they are leaving, Cas, Dean, you with us?”

That was it. He had almost kissed Cas and stupid cock blocking brothers and a stupid horseman had gotten in the way – the universe was never in the mood to give Dean a break.

“Yes,” Cas responded and gently pushed Dean out of the alcove to follow them.

All in all their recon had led them to two dead bodies and a lowly demon carrying a soul in a briefcase. Sam had gone on ahead to interrogate it as Gabriel smashed it against an alley wall. Dean and Cas stood to the side, watching as the demon squirmed against Gabriel.

“Where’s the big guy hiding out hey?”

“I don’t know.”

“Bullshit!” Sam took Ruby’s knife from his pocket and cut it across the demons face; it screeched in pain.

“Ok, ok. So I take the souls to a diner on the highway, Biggerson's Restaurant.”

Gabe and Sam exchanged glances. “Thanks for the help.” Sam jammed the knife into the demons stomach. Its body flashed then fell limp.

Gabriel was sucking on two lollipops now, which earned him a concerned look from Dean. “You alright there Gabriel?”

“Vessel, craves candy.” He spat trying to talk around the sweets in his mouth. Dean turned to Sam who was staring at the demon blood on the knife like it was the Holy Grail. Finally looking at Cas, he had another burger wrapper in his hand. Snatching the knife from Sam he glared at Gabriel.

“All right that’s it! Back to the motel, NOW!”

Moments later they were standing together in the motel room. Dean pacing, Cas and Gabe looking like children caught in the act. Sam sat on the edge of a bed, dismayed that he had almost ingested demon blood again.

“You and you,” he pointed at the angels who glanced up like soldiers, ”Out of here for a minute I need to talk to Sammy alone.”

“Anything you need to say Dean can be said in front of them, they’re practically family.” Sam sighed wearily.

“I know that Samantha, it’s not that I don’t think they are family. It’s that I don’t want Gabriel to smite me when I beat your ass.”

Instantly, Gabriel was standing beside Sam, “You really think of me as family?”

“Brother!”

“I know, sorry, bad timing. Look Deano, someone needs to go and get Famine before he realises that his soul snack isn’t coming. I understand your reservations about Sam, if there are going to be demons there maybe me and Sam will stay here. Candy is not a dangerous hunger and I can look after Sam. You and Cas can go get Famine’s ring.”

Thinking it over, Dean knew it made the most sense. “Fine. You make sure he doesn’t drink demon blood and don’t OD on sugar. Cas. Come on.”

 

He stalked out of the door not waiting to hear Sam argue or Cas munch on another burger. In silence he and Cas drove to the restaurant.

 

 

I could feel it in my heart. My veins pulsed with how close I came; craving the taste and strength the blood gave me. It would only be a matter of time until I broke out of here to go and get myself demon blood. Reminded once more by the addiction fuelled withdrawal that I am a freak.

“Gabriel, handcuff me to the radiator.”

Momentarily, he stopped stuffing his face to look at me. “Kinky.”

“I’m serious Gabe, I can’t hold on any longer, I’m going to hurt you.”

“Shhh. It’s ok Sam.” He clicked his fingers and I was restrained.

“Thank you.” I sighed. Joining me on the floor he gently caressed my hair. Suddenly, 3 demons crashed through the door, Gabriel on his feet seconds slower as he still tried to munch on the liquorish.

 “Gabe!” Understanding the urgency of the situation, he placed his hands on the demons heads, burning them from the inside out. The third demon backed away in surprise and, jelly snake hanging from his mouth, Gabriel advanced on it but it fought back.

I couldn’t focus. The bodies of the other two demons were so close, blood dribbling out of their ears... Pooling beside me. Trying to fight it was futile and I didn’t realise I was licking it off the floor until I heard the demon hit the floor and Gabriel shouting at me.

But it was too late. The familiar feeling of strength pulsed through me and I ripped myself from my restraints.

 

“Dean and Cas need our help.”

 

 

They sat mute in the Impala, staring out at the restaurant.

_It bothers me._

_What does?_

_I get why Sam’s is demon blood, and Gabriel naturally loves candy. These make me really happy. But what is your hunger Dean?_

_Guess I don’t have one. You know, I want sex I go get it. I’m hungry I eat. I wanna drink, I take it._

_Yes I suppose, but everyone craves something..._

_We can debate it later. What’s the plan here Cas?_

_I go in, get the ring and meet you back here._ Amazing how he managed to hold out the conversation in his head because there is no way he was getting words out between the lumps of burger. Dean is really starting to get sick of the whole burger thing though, and he loved the thought of him and Cas going out for burgers. _Can’t afford to think like that._

_Ok, Cas, if you’re not out in 2 I’m coming in._

Cas flitted away. 30 seconds passed. _Too long already._ Leaping out of the impala, Dean charged in. Bodies lay on the floor, demons from where Cas had gone in. Stealthily, keeping the gun up watching for possible attackers, Dean stepped over the bodies. Two came at him as he entered from the kitchen door into the main restaurant. _Bang. Bang._ Gracelessly they hit the ground dead.

What he saw next made bile rise in his throat and his heart beat erratically. Cas was crouched on the floor over something...

“Cas!” Dean shouted but the angel continued to fill his mouth with red meat, the remnants dripping down his fingers.

Whilst distracted by Cas, he was disarmed by a huge demon. It thumped him in the stomach, causing the air to explode out of Dean’s lungs and he doubled over in pain as it dragged him in front of a frail man in a wheelchair.

“Dean. You seem unaffected by my powers.”

“You son of a bitch! What have you done to him.”

“He is hungry Dean. Much as I am. I hear you stole my dinner. But for now let’s talk about you.”

“No, fuck you. Stop it! Cas, Cas come on you gotta fight it.”

Nothing, just the noises of Cas shovelling the meat down his throat.

“Don’t you want to know why you are unaffected? Hunger is not just physical, hunger also comes from the soul.”

“What?”

“You are not hungry Dean, because you are already dead inside.”

The revelation knocked the air out of Dean once more. His eyes met Cas’, he actually looked hurt by what Famine had said.

Sam and Gabriel materialised in the room. The demon instinctively held Dean hostage while Famine spoke and the other demons circled to protect the old man.

“Go on angel,” a table filled with candy, “enjoy yourself.”

As if Gabriel could not control himself, he dived into the sweets, making obscene noises as he shoved them in but not taking his gaze off Sam, his eyes crying out in apology.

Dean noticed the blood around Sam’s mouth, “Sammy? Sammy no.”

Famine smiled gleefully. “I see you got my present.”

“Let my brother go.” Sam tried to use his powers on the horseman but it was pointless.

“There are more here if you would like, go on drink up. Your powers are impressive though they do not work on me.” The demons surrounding him eyed the horseman uncertainly.

“No.”

“No? Very well, more for me.”  Black smoke swirled out of the vessels and into Famine’s mouth. He seemed to strengthen as he sucked it in. Dean watched hopeless and revolted by the scene before him.

“You’re right; my powers do not work on you. But they do work on demons.” Focussing his entire being on the demon souls inside Famine he squeezed his fist, exorcising the demons from within Famine and sending them back to hell. Black smoke filtered through Famine’s white shirt and he gasped ancient lungs straining against the pain he was feeling.

The demon holding Dean fell back, as did Sam, Famine panted in his chair. Rushing forward with a knife, Dean cut the ring off his finger. Instantaneously, Gabriel and Cas overcame the urge to eat. Gabe ran to help Sam while Cas silently, nervously came up to Dean. They began to walk out of the diner, leaving Famine to wheeze alone.

“Gabriel, fix Dean.”

“I’m fine Cas. Is Sam alright?”

“What’s wrong with him? Sam is the one who did all the heavy lifting and is now unconscious. I’m taking him back to the motel.” Gabriel replied, holding Sam’s unconscious body against his own.

“You were meant to stop him from drinking demon blood!”

“If I had of you and Cassie over there would be dead!”

Castiel frowned at him. “Dean has 2 broken ribs and a fractured cheek bone, which he obtained trying to help me. If _he_ hadn’t of cut the ring off, we would still be under Famine’s power.”

Begrudgingly, Gabriel snapped his fingers before disappearing with Sam.

_You alright Cas?_

_Dean, for once think about yourself! You could have gotten yourself killed coming after me._

_So what? I was just supposed to leave you there and let Famine do what he wanted to you?_

_Yes! I am an angel of the Lord, I'm supposed to save you, not the other way around._

_Well if you truly believed that, that I wouldn't be there to save you, or Hell, that I would leave you here, our ‘Profound Bond’ isn’t as strong as I thought it was._

Wrenching the car door open he climbed inside, waiting for Cas to do the same. He appeared beside Dean and put his hand on his cheek; before he could stop himself, Dean leaned into the touch.

“Thank you Dean.” Then he went back to stoic silence and staring out the window as the world passed them by.

_I could get used to this you know. You look good up shotgun. When this is over, you, me, Gabe and Sam are going on a road trip!_

_I’d like that very much Dean._

_We need to get Sam back to Bobby’s to get the demon blood out of his system._

_Yes... he will be fine Dean._

_I hope so Cas._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, so sorry guys for not getting another one up! Been so busy, and home life is kicking up shit. So I'm working on it, and I WILL have another chapter up this week. Thanks for reading and the patience guys :)  
> xo


	11. I Will Wait For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all :) Thanks for the patience, here's the next chapter. Apologies for the lack of imagination, I wanted canon/destiel so I went with it. Just got Death to write next and then all chapters will be up at once. Be ready in the next 2 week lovelies  
> Peace out bitches -xo

_So break my step_  
 _And relent_  
 _You forgave and I won't forget_  
 _Know what we've seen_  
 _And him with less_  
 _Now in some way_  
 _Shake the excess_  
  
 _But I will wait, I will wait for you_  
 _And I will wait, I will wait for you_

 

2 weeks after they defeated Famine, all was quiet in the world of horsemen. Sam had spent 5 days straight in lock down, Gabriel watching over him the entire time. He is better now, but the electricity and anticipation of facing either Pestilence or Death was making it almost impossible to carry on just reading lore and sit around.

“Why’n’t you bunch of idjits just go on a job, get out of _my_ hair for a bit. Seeing you sit around mopin’ ain’t helpin’ no one.” Bobby, the only constant thing in the boy’s lives besides each other, was the first to point out an obvious solution.

And that’s exactly what they did. Unfortunately it was just a simple salt and burn; they were back in a day. Needless to say they were jitterier than before.

“While you boys were gone, one sodding day, I might have come across something that fits the bill for Pestilence.”

“Awesome what is it?”

“Swine flu has been popping up in a string of towns north from here. Epidemic, a state over. You ought to check it out.”

“Yeah. Come on Sammy, pack up.”

 

 

A gruelling 7 hour drive with the repeated Metallica tapes and gross snogging noises coming from Sasquatch and the trickster meant that Dean was more than on edge when he and Cas finally sat down in the motel room. Standing, awkwardly and still unaccustomed to human conduct, Cas stared at Dean, his blue eyes boring deep into Dean’s skull. 

_Dean stop tensing, you are making yourself uneasy._

_I can’t Cas. What if this doesn’t work... What happens if..._

_I have faith in you Dean; I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t._

_That doesn’t make it any better Cas._

_My apologies, I thought it was customary to provide comforting words when another is feeling down._

_You are spending too much time with Sammy Cas._

Mission succeeded. Cas had successfully divert Dean’s mind to pleasant memories and less frigid thoughts. With a sigh, Dean clicked the ancient TV set on. 3 am TV sucks _balls_. It was too early to go out for information and Dean was not a huge fan of research – not to mention that Sammy has the laptop. Daring a glance at Cas, he found the dwindling angel perched on the side of the other bed, head cocked in his way, staring at Dean.

_Dean I-_

Cas’ eyes flew wide open. He gasped and retched before vanishing.

_Cas!? CAS._

_“_ CAS GOD DAMMNIT.”

Viciously, he flew through the door and without so much as a knock he entered the room Sam and Gabe were inhabiting. Or you know, lying in a tangled ball under the covers, snoring loudly.

“SAMMY, GABE UP. NOW.”

Sam was out of bed like a shot, his natural instincts from John running wild in his bewildered confusion.

A sleepy sound escaped Gabriel at the sudden loss of warmth.

“Gabriel get your lazy ass out of bed, I know angels don’t sleep.”

“Yeah well this one has accustomed to it and I kinda like it.” Yawning, he rolled to the side and joined Sam sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Dean. What the hell?”

“Yeah, why’d you interrupt my mouse cuddle?” Gabriel pouted.

“Cas disappeared. He – “

“That’s what this is about?! Your husband runs off and he freaking barge in here li-“

“Listen here you fucking dick! He didn’t just ‘pop’ out! He looked at me; in his eyes he looked scared alright. And now? Now he isn’t fucking answering me. So forgive me if I’m the only stupid asshole who actually gives a shit about him.”

Flying out the room in as much anger as he entered, Sam and Gabe shared a look, both of them wincing slightly as the door shuddered in its frame.

 

 

“Shit.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve pissed your brother off and I can’t find Cas. He isn’t answering me either.”

Gently, I leaned into Gabriel’s side, “I need to go talk to him.”

“Yeah,” He wrapped his arm around my waist, “I’ll go do some reconnaissance. Be back in two Sasquatch.”

A parting kiss left me alone and nervously going over how best to approach Dean’s feelings. Kind of like trying to fire marshmallows out of a gun. It’s a mess and it doesn’t work. Pinching my brow, I wondered how Dean became so emotionally stunted. _Oh yeah, Dad._

“Dean,” walking through the door I saw my big brother, head in his hands on the bed. This is the same brother who went to Hell and fights monsters for a living; oh man did Cas have him good. “Dean, we need to talk about this.” I joined him on the bed, he mumbled a response from his hands.

“S’nuthin’ to talk about. Except maybe beer. I need a drink.” Ever since Cas and Gabe had joined us more than part time, Dean had drunk less and less. He seemed lighter and cracked more jokes than usual. Fear gripped me at the thought of losing him to the bottle like we did Dad.

“No. You need to find Cas and tell him exactly how you feel about him.” Lifting his head he brought his eyes to meet mine. They were puffy and red.

“Ok Samantha. What feelings are these precisely?”

“ _Dean_. Ok... You and Cas is like me and Gabe! I see the way you look at each other – seriously, the raging eye sex alone should have told you everything.”

“I... He. I can’t.” His voice was barely a whisper and I felt my heart shatter a little beneath my chest.

“Why can’t you Dean?” Really, I don’t understand my brother sometimes.

“He’s an angel Sammy! You heard Gabe, I corrupted him. _I_ fucking corrupted an _angel._ He has suffered too much at my hand. More... more than you know. I’m a monster Sammy. No matter what way I look at it I still see what I did in the pit. He deserves better than me.”

Anger bubbled through me, “You are not a monster Dean! Why can’t you just accept that? We’re your family, you are my big brother and everything you did... We don’t judge you for it. You didn’t corrupt him Dean, you showed him choice! You gave him the chance to choose.”

“Chose what?!”

 “You. You moronic mud monkey.” Gabriel had reappeared beside me, startling me slightly. I was not as used to this as Dean.

“Did you find him?!” Dean stood to face Gabriel.

The look on his face crushed Dean again. “No, sorry Deano.”

 

 

“This profound bond thing, should I be able to find him?”

_Cas you son of a bitch you better be ok because I just had the biggest chick flick moment of my life and you are entirely responsible._

“I have no idea. Obviously, he is blocked to angels, courtesy of yours truly. The only reason I could think of him to leave so abruptly is that he has been summoned by someone.”

“Or something.” Sam spoke solemnly.

“Crowley.” Dean growled.

“Crowley?” The others replied in unison.

“Who else could it be? Come on, we know that he and Cas were butt buddies for a time. Who else would want Cas besides Heaven, but it wasn’t like the last time that happened so I think we can rule it out.” Dean was beginning to ramble. _Shit_. He only rambled when he was getting nervous, so agitated that he is about to spring and acquaint his fist with a wall.

“I will look for heavy demon populated areas.”

“Fine, but you let me know as soon as you find something!”

“We need to take out Pestilence Dean. Don’t worry, Gabe will find him.”

_Cas, I don’t know where you are but buddy... Cas. Please be ok. I can’t do this without you. We will be at the hospital._

 

 

The flames licked at the edges of my grace, causing me to reel in pain.

_Dean, can you hear me._

Silence responded.

“Ello darling.”

Crowley’s voice will never not make my skin crawl. An angel talking with a demon, how far I have fallen.

“What’s the matter? Winchester got your tongue?” He drawled at me.

“What do you want Crowley.”

Pacing around the ring, I noted that he looked more pensive than usual; almost nervous.

“Oh... It’s like that. So, Abbadon’s got your tongue?”

“Although it is wonderful to see those denim wrapped nightmare’s have finally taught you sarcasm, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU KEPT IT TO YOURSELF CASTIEL.” Adjusting his tie, he continued, “Due to the unfortunate circumstances surrounding our arrangement, you have forced my hand.”

Two angels appeared in the room. Apprehensively, I fiddled with the hem of my trench coat. I am not fond of fighting my brethren.

“Castiel.” Their voice was thick with disbelief which almost made me chuckle.

_Gabriel, brother can you hear me?_

“Castiel do stop brooding, that constipated expression isn’t a good look on you.” My eyes met the red of Crowley’s. “Angels, meet deal breaker. Deal breaker, well, you know who they are.”

“What are you planning on doing with the Winchester’s.” The Holy fire was beginning to knick at my diminishing grace, there is still some left, only making the pain worse by the fact my communication was severed with Dean.

“You really are their favourite pet, what happened to you Castiel?” My other brother spoke now; I sensed he may have held my allegiance before this.

Cold chuckles ran through the air, “Dean Winchester happened. So can we get this show on the road,” I was about to retaliate when Crowley carried on, “And for the record, I am going to help them... You heard. I don’t think Lucifer is going to favour his demon spawn anymore than the mud monkeys.” Vaguely he referred to the angels, “They are my ‘Winchester angel squad’ and they are going to get them to Pestilence and Death if necessary.”

“Enough Crowley. This is sufficient payment. Put the fire out and we will head straight to the Winchesters... After we deal with some business beforehand of course.” 

Fingers snapped in the heat of the air and just as soon as it had come, the searing pain went away. I collapsed forward to the ground, looking up only to notice Crowley gone and the angels advancing.

_Dean._

 

 

A dead end. Cas was still MIA and they had hit a dead end at the hospital. Gabriel had not yet returned and Dean took the moment of being along to kneel down and pray. Properly, no in head chat. Desperation tugged at Dean from the corners of his heart and so he bent his head and succumbed to fear.

 _Castiel. I’m praying now man,_ _and you know how I feel about begging. It’s been almost a day. I know something is up, which is why Crowley is the next swarmy bastard I’m calling. Just be ok Cas. Please._

“Kneeling is a new look for you Winchester, I’m sure Cas would appreciate it.”

“Sammy!” Dean shouted, ”Crowley you son of a _bitch._ What have you done with Cas?”

At this moment Sam crashed through the door, Ruby’s knife in hand. Noticing the weapon Sam was wielding, Crowley took a step back and held his hands up in surrender allowing Sam to join his brother by the bed.

“Not here to fight Moose. And that's the King of Hell to you sunshine." Dean scoffed but allowed Crowley to go one, "Yes I summoned Castiel.” Lunging forward, Sam was only just able to stop Dean from attacking Crowley, “But, I didn’t hurt him. I want to help you, and since we aren’t exactly on speaking terms I figured a little private chat with Cas would make you morons listen.”

“That doesn’t explain where Cas is.” Sam replied dryly.

“Ah, yes. Well our conversation was somewhat interrupted by angels. I think you nicknamed them best, Squirrel, dicks with wings.”

“So where is Cas now?” Dean shot back, still bristling from the demons presence.

The familiar flutter of wings filled the room. Crowley gave an undignified scream as Gabriel shoved him against the wall.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER.”

Between breaths Crowley spoke, “As I was... saying, angels... interrupted. Warehouse... That’s where I left him.”

Pulling gently on Gabe’s wrist, Sam encouraged Gabriel away from Crowley, “Go check it out, we will keep Crowley here.”

Dean, who had been quiet through the whole escapade, drew the devils trap and as soon as Gabriel released Crowley’s throat, the demon stumbled straight into it. Throwing his hands up in despair, Crowley huffed defeat.

Gabriel scowled at him one more time. Fluttering wings marked his departure and desperate search for Cas. Meanwhile, Sam began to chant an exorcism.

“Hold your horse’s moose, don’t you want to know where Pestilence is?”

 Sam stopped.

"First you have got to promise me not to exorcise me."

"No." Dean growled. "Carry on Sammy."

“Fine! Fine. iwillfindawayoutofthislater. He’s at Serenity Valley Convalescent Home. Working there. Got some of my lot with him too.”

“Great.” Sighing, Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. No Gabe, still no Cas and now they _have_ to go get Pestilence. “Sit tight Crowley.”

Blatantly ignoring Crowley’s protests, the brothers headed out of the door and into the impala.

_Cas, Gabe, if you can hear me we are at Serenity Valley Convalescent Home. So is Pestilence._

Baby purred as they pulled away from the motel, leaving a bellowing Crowley behind.

 

 

Pain ached through me. Cracking open an eye, the brightness of the room caused me to flinch involentarily. The action was troubling. Worringly human. 

_Dean._

_CAS. Son of a bitch! You scared the hell outta me man. Where are you? Are you alright?_

_I believe I am in a hospital. But my foot itches and my body aches and the sensations are unfamiliarly..._

_Human._

_  
_That was it. It must be. I have finally exhausted the last of my grace and have joined the human race. Forgive me for my sarcasm, I am fairly new to this. Great.

_Gabriel?_

_  
_After waiting several moments, I realised that I was trying to communicate with an angel - a species I no longer belong to. Breathing caused me pain and just completing the action was foreign and un welcoming. Head bent, I prayed to my brother.

 _Gabriel?_  

_Cassie! I've been looking all over for you bro! Where are you?_

_I'm in a hospital._ Manouvering off the bed, I hobbled to the end, looking for any indication of my location; coming to a panel hooked on the edge of my bed I prayed once more.  _In Colorado brother._

_I will be right there._

_  
_I was unaccustomed to 'waiting'. I did not feel comfortable as I stood, bracing myself on the bed. They had removed my clothing. _Jimmy's clothing._ Leaving me in white hospital garments that were cold and open at the back. Soon, I realsied it may take Gabriel some time to get here. He did have to navigate as to which hospital and then find my exact location. With a sigh, I perched back on the side of my steel bed and closed my eyes. Everything I had ever known or witnessed was still inside my head - thank Father - and rolling my neck I allowed myself to think. Thinking is good for the grace.

Soul. Does this mean I now own a soul? I do not feel any different. And what about Dean? How had I been able to communicate with Dean but not my own brethren? An emotion errupted in my chest. Joy? No, stronger. Pride. Hope. Love.

Just trying to decifer the emotion was tiresome. Perhaps hoping for something more clear, I tried to think again, I rubbed my hand against my forehead in thought. It is something I have noticed Dean doing when he needs to think. Dean. There is that pesky swell in my chest again. Despite not being painfull, I still hurt. I felt far away from Dean and I felt a sense of  _longing_  and shame at not being able to reach him. 

_Cas, you ok buddy._

_  
_My heart rate increased irratically.

_Yes Dean, Gabriel is coming to get me._

_  
_He did not reply for what seemed to be a long time; that gave my mind a chance to wander into the land of bright green eyes and light dusty freckles and strong calloused hands on my -

_Good, 'cos we need you both. Like now._

_  
_Before I realised what I was doing I was pacing, ignoring the ache in my limbs and the dull throb of my chest.

_Dean where are you? What's going on?_

_Found Pestilence, think. Think he is making us sick. Man have I missed you Cas._

_  
_Worry flowed through me. I do not believe I like worry as a feeling. But there is a stronger, passionate, possessive heat dancing it's way around me too. Suddenly, I realised I had no idea what had happened. Last thing I remembered...

 

 

"Brothers, we do not have to do this."

"No? You have fallen Castiel. So very far. You are going against our Father and it must be stopped."

  
"Please do not pretend you are doing this for Father. Not that he cares anymore anyway."  


"Shut up Castiel and tell us where the Winchester's are!"

"Bite me."

Turning my back to the angels, I slipped my angel blade from my sleeve and opened my now ragged t-shirt. As inconspicuously as I could manage, I drew the banishing sigil on my chest. The red angry lines flared up at me when I looked down. A powerful hand whirlled me around. I lifted my gaze, meeting their horrifed eyes. Slamming my hand to my chest everything went white and the sensation of agony came full swing as my body collided with that of the deck of a boat. 

 

 

 

_It has been one day Dean._

_Feels a lot longer without you here. With me._

_  
_Dean became silent. I glanced at the ceiling, trying desperately to reach Gabriel.

_Gabriel, Dean and Sam are in trouble._

_Hang on bro, I'm almost_

_  
_"Here." Grinning at me wildly, he pulled me in and held me close. It was awkward. Then in a fluid motion, he ruffled my hair and the intesifying itch on my foot vanished and the swelling of my chest filtered out. When I looked down I was surprised to see the familiar lapels of my tan trench coat covering me, the draft of air over my ass now thankfully gone.

"Let's go save our boys, eh Cassie."

 

 

If there was one feeling Dean wished he could banish from the world, it would be retching. Sickness hurts and is just down right gross. At the mercy of the  _horseman_ of illness he remembered why he hated being sick so much. 

"You have scarlet fever, meningitis and syphilis. Excrutiating isn't it?" Pestielence gave a rueful smile before he continued to moan and condemn God for allowing humans to rule.

"Would you shut the fuck up! If I'm going to die, I ain't doing it hearing about how fucking shit your life has been. Cry me a _fucking_ river, you spineless asshole." Just as Dean finished his sentence he realised why he regretted his big mouth. Something very important snapped inside of him. 

 _"_ Snap, crackle, pop Mr Winchester."

"DEAN!" Sammy's cry drowned out the sadistic bastards laugh and the comment made by his demon entourage.

_It has only been one day Dean._

_Feels a lot longer without you here. With me._  

 _  
_Time seemed to slow down then. Encompassed by pain and the need to protect his brother, Sam attempted to make small talk while shuffling over (with immense difficulty) to where the demon knife had fallen while Dean groaned.

"So what's next in the world of the horseman who makes everyone sick?"

"Croatoan virus." 

I froze in place. "What in the Hell is croatoan?"

Silently I prayed to Gabe that he had found Cas and was here because things were getting wildly out of hand. 

"The future you mewling, pathetic creature. A virus so effective so powerful, I must admit I am proud of it. 2014 year of the dead. You are going to lose Sam Winchester. You are going to say Y-"

"Sasquatch!" 

Gabe's voice rebounded round the sounds of Dean's strained breaths and I heard him skid as he entered the room, Cas apparently in tow. I don't know what's up with Cas but the second he joined our fog of death, he collapsed to the floor. More like tripped over Dean... Why was Cas...?

"Gabe watch out!" I shouted, wheezing from the illness inflicted on me.

"Don't move you party crashing archangel."

"I could explode you-"

"But you won't," he fiddled with his ring, the room screamed with humans gasps in harsh and short breaths, "because I have a feeling these disgusting animals mean something to you." His gaze flickered to where Cas was slumped beside Dean, "there's not even a speck of angel left in you is there?" Grinning icely, he returned his attention to Gabriel who was standing just behind me, his shoes tapping nervously at the base of my back. Pestilence leaned casually against the desk, the sight of pain pleasing his wrinkly face.

 

Swiftly, summoning all of his now very human strength, Cas whipped the knife from the floor and smashed the blade down on the Horseman's fingers. Wood splintered in protest and the Horseman staggered away from Cas, who, now that the effects of the ring had worn off was standing with all the purpose of an angel.

"Maybe just a speck." 

Gabriel dealt with the demon and then he pulled Sam up, placing a comforting and healing touch on his head before kissing him soundly. 

Cas helped Dean to his feet. He slumped against him in heavy dead weight, but Cas - Jimmy - was lean and moved forward to take the ring from the bloody finger on the table. Sam also came over to take the knife and to check his brother.

"Gabriel, fix Dean and take us back to the motel." Gabriel was about to click his fingers when Cas remembered the most vital object to Dean, "Don't forget the impala."

A quick snap later, Dean awoke standing in an empty motel room, Cas' strong arm and hand clasped around his hip. _Now this I could get used to. ___

__Then it dawned on him Cas is here. He's alright._ _

__Without warning he turned himself into Cas (his body no longer whining at the thought of breathing) pulling the other man close. Surprise hit him when he felt Cas turn his own head into Dean's neck, the soft tousle of thick brown hair tickling his ear, the soft breaths sending goosebumps all over his body. And when his arms circled Dean's waist, oh boy could Dean get used to this. The slow rise and fall of Cas' chest against his, the slight scrape of stumble against the line of his jaw. A contented sigh escaped his lips as he held on a little tighter._ _

__"Not that I want to ruin this moment, because really it's so sickly sweet you make my candy obsession look like cheese, but didn't you leave an angry King of Hell here somewhere?"_ _

__Slowly, Cas and Dean broke apart and together the men walked the coridoor to Dean and Cas' room. They gaped at the scene before them. Empty. No Hell spawn. No trace. Just one broken demon trap._ _

__Gabriel's nose crinkled, "angels have been here, we should scram."_ _

__"As much as I agree with you, HOLY SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT BABY!" Dashing out the room, Cas caught his arm before he reached the doorway._ _

__"Gabriel transported it here Dean. I made sure of it."_ _

__Dean's face dropped. He walked out to inspect his car, "least you didn't scratch her. I was going to say I'm too tired to drive, but you can just transport us and Baby, right Gabe?"_ _

__"I even packed for you Deano."_ _

__Between the space of a blink, the vertigo sensation slipping away, they were standing in a different car park. Yellow light illuminated where they stood, the imapla's black sheen glinting in the spotlight. They booked 2 rooms as usual, Sam and Gabe promptly saying night and dissapearing to their room. Just like so many nights before, Cas and Dean entered their room. Dean collapsed onto one of the beds, a discontented grunt coming out of him at the restistance of the matress._ _

__"Man, I'd kill for some pie right now. Pie would be awesome."_ _

__Shuffling awkwardly, Cas sighed sadly, "if I were an angel, I would be able to go get you pie."_ _

__Instantly, Dean sat up on the bed, "hey don't talk like that. You'll always been my nerdy angel Cas, no matter what."_ _

__Cas' face became contorted with a yawn, his whole body replying with agreement; he copied Dean and flopped onto the other bed._ _

__"Dude, at least take your-" Sleepily, Dean never finished the thought. He drifted away, fully clothed and legs hanging just off the edge._ _

__Cas followed him down, sleep gripping at the edges of his consciousness. "Then I will always watch over you, Dean."_ _

__

__He awoke to shouting. Terrified howling of his name. Rushing out of bed, he landed on his knees beside Cas' bed. The other man squirmed and thrashed in his sleep. A thick sheen of sweat glistened over his skin, his trench coat bunched up and the bed sheets creased as he white knuckled his way through the nightmare._ _

__"DEAN! DEAN." He had never heard Cas' voice sound so broken. It was cracked and the gravel tone split by a sob._ _

__Removing Cas' hand from the sheets he sandwiched it between his own, rubbing his fingers carefully across the surface, "Cas buddy, come on I'm here. Come back to me."_ _

__His body seemed to twitch less. The irregular inhalations calmed down. Slowly, Cas' eyes blinked open. "Dean, Dean." Relief dominated his voice; he squeezed Dean's hand to check it was real. "I'm sorry I woke you." Cas' eyes still seemed hazy and afraid._ _

__Dean had seen this thousands of time when Sammy was younger. Cas needed comfort. He needed solidarity and proof Dean was actually there. "Don't sweat it Cas, and.... Scoot over." A blank expression cut across Cas, his head tilted against the pillow. Chuckling at the total angelness and _Cas_ that was in that movement, he climbed over Cas and shoved the weirdness of the situation to the back of his mind. __

____This wasn't weird and even if it was, nothing in their relationships, hell their LIVES, was actually normal. For a moment Cas was stiff beside him but Dean endeavored to make him relax. Wrapping his arms around Cas' torso, he pulled them flush. Somewhere in his actions Cas got the memo and curled up onto Dean. Out of nowhere, he was clinging to Dean like a lifeline, like he was the only thing keeping Cas there and the dam he was trying to hide broke. Tenderly, and way more loving than he would ever admit, he brushed his cheek across Cas' unruely mop of hair. The ex angels breathing had evened out, the warmth of him and grip still present as Dean closed his eyes. Soothingly, he hummed the tune to Stairway To Heaven._ _ _ _

____"Sleep well, angel."_ _ _ _


	12. End Credits

_When the blood dries in my veins_   
_And my, heart feels no more pain_   
_I know, I'll be on my way_   
_To heaven's door_   
  
_I know when I knock_   
_I'll be hoping I don't drop_   
_To a place where I will rise, like before_   
  
_I can feel, something happening_   
_That I've never felt before_   
_Hopeless dreaming will start_   
_Dragging me away from heaven's door_   
  
_When my mind stops thinking_   
_And my eyes stop blinking_   
_I hope..._   
_Somebody's there_   
  
_When my heart stops beating_   
_And my lungs stop breathing_   
_In air..._   
_I hope somebody cares_

"Sam, come on talk to me, I'm boooored."

I shuddered as I heard the voice, the same taunting voice that had haunted my dreams and plagued my nightmares. "No. The answer is still no."  _Gabriel you lazy bastard angel please wake me up._

 _  
_"We are in your heeeead Sammy. Even my piss poor excuse of a _brother_ can't save you here."

"Like Hell I can't!" Seconds later I awoke, Gabriel holding me within his arms, sweat pooling at my brow. 

"Thank you." The whisper fell half from my lips and cracked through the gasp of air in which I was trying to regain. 

"We need to tell Dean, Sam." He pressed his lips to my matted hair; since when was an archangel comforting me.  _Me._ I do not deserve his kindness. 

"I know." Was all I could muster from the lingering fog that clogged my brain. 

 

 

"You idjits.This is the angel of death. Big daddy reaper. They keep this guy chained in a box six hundred feet under. Last time they hauled him up, Noah was building a boat. You sure we want to tango with that?"

"What choice do we got Bobby? It's this or Sammy says yes." Shuddering at the thought, Dean popped the cap of his beer earning him Cas' version of Sam's prime bitch face #6.

"Fine. Speaking of him, go get your brother, maybe that damn angel can shed some light on the situation." Grumbling, Bobby shuffled and busied himself back behind his desk and was instantly superimposed from Dean's vision by the mountain of books. 

Cas and Dean shared a look and a silent shrug in communication. "Come on Bobby, one of these useless books must have something in them. A chant, sacrificial goat.  _Something._ "

"Dean I do not believe insulting the books is going to help." He moved from the counter he was leaning against to pick the book from beside Dean's beer; flicking through it he scanned the pages nonchalantly. "It is likely this is the first time anyone has tried to make any kind of contact."

"Would you two stop having a mothers meeting and go and get the  _angel_ that might actually know something." 

Without even looking at Cas, Dean knew the hurt, self loathing expression that would be set on the ex anglel's face. He shot Bobby daggers, silently glad the books blocked the view, he didn't doubt Bobby would give him a prime beat down for taking offense. No, instead Dean put his beer back on the table and stepped right into Cas' personal space; gently he lifted his chin catching his blue eyes in a green stare down. 

_Hey, don't listen to Bobby, he is just grouchy we gotta find Death._

_He is right Dean. I am as useless as these books._

_Remember what I said the other night? I meant it. Your are still my badass angel Cas, not having your mojo is a bummer but there is not point wallowing in it._

_That means a lot Dean, thank you... Is it customary to drink so early?_

_Hey it's 5pm somewhere, Cas._

_  
_Satisfied that he had cheered Cas up, (cos yeah, Dean had noticed and it sucked A LOT that Cas was just a baby in a trench coat, but he was still Cas), he made his way up the stairs.

Loudly and as arrogantly as he could fathom, Dean banged on the door, "Hey, Bitch, Wanker," _heh, still not sure if that's strong enough yet_ , "get your asses down stairs pronto." 

The simultanious, "JERK!" plastered the shit eating grin on his face when he rejoined Cas who had moved to the living room. 

Moments later, the  _thud thud_ of gigantor feet with a 6ft frame and the flutter of wings signalled that the family was finally all up. 

"Gabriel, brother, do you know of some way to summon Death?" Castiel questioned his brother the second he materialized. Unsurprisingly, Gabriel was unresponsive and retorted with a yawn. Being handed a coffee from a bleary eyed Sam considerably cheered him up however. 

"Sure, most of the ingredients are pretty simple if you know how to use them." Yawning again, he inhaled the coffee. 

"So we can get a hold of them?" Sam had piped up again, the coffee aroma spreading through his senses; shaking off the last remenants of... Lucifer. 

"Question. What do we do once Death gets here. Just so you know, he can kill all of us. My sweet ass included." Apparently, caffine works on archangels too. 

"We could always bind him."

"How'd you suppose we do that you idjit?"

"Crowley told me a spell." Everyone turned to stare at Cas then.

"He did what?!" Dean was close enough to Cas that he could feel the confused look in his cells. 

"Crowley. When I spoke to him about... Lucifer. He mentioned that Death was, as Bobby said chained in a box. If let out, he mentioned it is possible to bind him with a spell." Suddenly transfixed with a loose thread on the carpet Cas kept his gaze down. 

"Gabe?" Sam searched the room for the angel who had left before Cas had even finished. 

Returning, a small plunder in his arms Gabriel smirked, "What? Cassie knows a binding spell, so I went to get the ingredients." 

 

The hunters watched as the angel and the ex angel assembled the spell. They were about to put the last piece in, but Gabriel hesitated and turned a glance to Sam. 

"Incase this doesn't work - "

"Can it Gabriel."

Dribbling the vial of blood into the bowl, the 5 occupants of the room froze. Time slipped on. Heads turned and breaths exhaled.

Nothing happened. 

Castiel's stage 3 'I'm not sure if this was what was meant to happen or whether something really bad is going to happen' dominated his face before he spoke, "Was that it?"

"Dunno bro. Seems kinda anti-climatic."

"You sure you didn't get the ingredients wrong, Gabe?"

The archangel scoffed, "Please."

 

A day later, it was decided that a hunt situated a few miles out could suffice a break. It was perplexing as to why the spell had been wrong, the angels seemed sure everything had been done correctly. They spent the last diminishing hours of the day to gather intel. Looked like a rogue warewolf. Once back in their respective rooms all 4 fell into an almost instant slumber. Lucifer had put a strain on everyone - especially Sam who had yet to tell his brother about the dreams. Although, seeing as Dean warned him about the dreams, perhaps he already knew.

Dean's eyes fluttered shut to the even sounds of Cas' breathing and ruffle of sheets as the other man moved. Since he became completely human, the ex angel and the hunter had shared a bed. Dean wasn't going to over analyse it; he certainly wasn't going to admit that he slept a thousand times better with Cas by his side. 

 

At first the distortion of his dream made him fear another nightmare. But then he saw that smug, chubby and wilting face and he knew.  _He knew_   that Zachariah was there to trouble him again. In mantra he willed himself to wake up. Failing, he returned his gaze to the intruder. 

"Deano, how's it been."

"Fuck you Zachariah."  _Cas, please wake me up._

"I have brought someone I thought you might like to meet." Gesturing to his right, Dean almost faltered in thinking it was John. A much younger John, who didn't look plagued with un wanted knowledge or eyes suffocating under alcohol. 

"Hello Dean. I understand you have denied my request to use you as my vessel. You must then appreciate the significance in me coming here myself and not through Zachariah." He waited for Dean to respond, but the eldest Winchester remained vigilant and shifted from one foot to another. "It is destiny. Unfair yes, changeable, no. My brother has been reaching out to Sam, and it will not be long before he breaks. Dean, you have to accept the importance of this. Billions of lives are counting on you."

"Huh. And what happens when you and your brother have your little bitch fight? How many innocent people are caught in the crossfire?"

Anger bubbled from the once patient man, "COUNTLESS LESS than will be condemned for sure if you do not let me in. Dean. This is what you were born to do. Go out with one final swing and save the world." The man looked down in a way that could be described as guiltily, "What would John want you to do. He told you didn't he Dean. Your father told you that you might have to kill Sam. Only, it won't be Sam,  _Dean_ , it will be Lucifer."

Tears sprung at Dean's eyes. He fought them back and licked his lips in nervous silence. 

"I know. It is hard. I do not want to fight my little brother any more than you do. I really don't. But right now, I need you to say yes."

"No." Dean ground out. 

Michael sighed, "Death cannot be summoned, Lucifer has bound him." Dean gave him a surprised look. _How could he even..._  "Despite those fancy symbols on your bones, you are my ture vessel Dean. It would be irresponsible of me to not keep an eye out. 3 dead horsemen screamed Winchester involvement." 

Something sharp cut through Dean's flesh. "I couldn't even if I wanted to..."

"It wouldn't be you Dean! All you got to say is one word. Just say yes."

"I... y-"

 

 

Dean sometimes mumbled in his sleep. If I could never find comfort myself, I would listen to Dean's incoherent words. Sometimes they were happy and other times they were broken sobs. Lying next to him, his head close to my shoulder and our legs intwined, I could sense something different about his sleep talking. Normally, it wouldn't have concerened me but I could have sworn a scornful  _Zachariah_ trembled from his lips. From then on, I struggled to wake him.

 _Dean? Dean can you..._ "Dean listen to me, wake up." Shaking his shoulders I tried to bring him back. Nothing was working.

His body tensed. Dean frowned and a bead of sweat trickled down the side of his temple.

I clamboured from the bed and to the bathroom. In some of the movies Dean had shown me, it is comical to wake another up by splashing water over their face. Some how, the water soaked pillow and frantic green eyes did not seem particuarly amusing. 

"Cas..." He looked away. Not being able to look at me told me everything I needed to know. He was going to say yes. Dean Winchester was about to throw everything away. Everything we had worked for. All I had sacrificed for him. 

I pulled on his shoulder. 

"NO. I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them?" Smashing my fist against his face, I felt the pulse of bone on my own. But it was too late, I was angry and for the first time, I was going to let Dean know exactly how this emotion made me feel. 

"Cas! Please!" He squirmed beneath me, trying to raise his hands to protect his face. Pinning him down, I carried on.  
  
"I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me?"

"Cas. I... I'm sorry. But think of all the people I've gotten killed, Cas. Mom, Dad, Jess, Sam hell I even killed you Cas! I can't keep going knowing that the whole planet is going to burn because of me."

Inhaling unevenly, I stopped to look at him. "Not everything rests on your shoulders Dean." With that I peeled off him, knuckles bruised and covered in spots of Dean's blood. He tried to reach out to me, but I walked away. Picking my slacks, shirt and trench coat up I left our room; I left Dean to make whatever stupid decision he was going to.  _Not like I can get through to him anyway, stubborn assbutt._

_Cas. Please Cas I'm sorry. Shit._

_  
_Cas just left. He just beat the living shit out of Dean, not an angel give a _fuck_ , that guy could hit. Dean's heart flipped. The pain of his face was nothing compared to the dull ache of disappointment. Why did Dean always have to fuck it up. Everything he touched died. He couldn't let that happen to Sammy or Cas. He wouldn't. Which is why he ran out of the motel room, in nothing but trackies and blood still seeping down his face. Looking left, then right, he shuddered and forced his legs into action. Holy clusterfucks was it cold outside. 

_Cas. Please Cas I'm sorry. Shit._

 

Numbly, he tapped his pockets for his phone. Mentally kicking himself, he ran back to the room; he grabbed a shirt and his phone before dialing Sam's number. 

A groggy voice answered him.

"Dean?"

"Hey Sammy, so I know Lucifer has been trying to get to you, keep saying no. I... Shit Sammy I fucked up. I was about to say yes -"  
"YOU WHAT?!"  
"Yeah I know, bitchface me later bitch. Anyway, Cas woke me up and he thumped me in the face a few times for good measure and then clocked out. Which thus ends my shitastic night."

"Dean you are an idiot. Where are you now?"

"Looking for Cas, where the fuck d'ya think. I just wanted for you to know I'm sorry and I'm not going to let you down again. Also, keep an eye out incase Cas comes back."

"Yeah sure, fine Dean."

"Oh and the spell for Death didn't work 'cos Lucifer has him bound."

"Oh, that... Sucks."

Dean clicked the phone down. Searching for well over an hour, he gave up and headed to a bar he passed on the way back to the motel.  _Drown your sorrows Dean, just like Dad used to do. Such a cracking example for Sammy to follow._

 _  
_Impassively, Dean downed the whisky in one. The harsh liquid hitting his senses and draining the pain away. Something in the bar reeked... Like sulphur.

_Son of a bitch._

As smoothly as he could, he slipped away from the bar and out the doors. Dialing Sam's number with his free hand, he scampered over to a nearby car in order to hide from the group that had followed him out. Quietly, he whispered into the phone when Sam picked up, straining to move inconspicuously in the car park.

"Dean! Where the hell are you?"

"What Sammy? I'm at a bar, gave up looking for Cas. Stupid son of a bitch."

"Dean, why are you whispering? Cas' right here, get your ass back now."

"Demons Sammy... Demons. Fuck," he glanced over the bonnet, "Fuuuuck. It's Abbadon."  
"Dean get out of there... Dean?"

"Sorry, pretty green eyes can't come to the phone right now. See you around Sammy."

 

 

"No nononononono!" I was still shouting down the phone after she cut it off.

"Sam what is it? Where is Dean?" Cas' usual gravelly voice was pitched an octave higher in concern. The man froze, his skin became ashen.

"Bro what did Deano say?"

"He said don't worry Michael will bring him back." The ex angel looked small in the weak light of the motel.

"Gabriel, take us to the nearest bar right now." Frantically, we searched the immediate vicinity of the car park where we had landed. Gabe noticed some blood and with an increasing sinking feeling we trailed it to an alley next to it. "DEAN." A small figure was slumped against the wall, a flickering street lamp illuminating his pale skin in a sickly yellow glow. Violently shaking Dean's shoulder, the first of my tears streaked down my face. Limp, he fell forward. Clutching his head, I sobbed and stared up at the sky. Cas and Gabe stood aghast, eyes fixed on the wall above him.

There, written in my brothers blood were the words dripping in cruel intent. 

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

I shuddered. "Gabriel, please..."

His hand squeezed my shoulder, "I have been trying Sam, my grace... It's not working." That was the first time I have ever seen either angel cry. For seconds, maybe minutes, a whole lifetime could have passed, but nobody moved.

 

 

"Heyya Tessa." Dean did his best to grin, but lets face it, the day you get used to death is the day you most definately should give up. 

"Dean what are you doing here, it is before your time."

"Glad to hear it, but you know. Winchester luck. Also, I kinda need some face time with your boss."

"No Dean, you need to just go."

"Can't do it Tess, got an apocalypse to divert." 

They were still standing in the alley. Suddenly, their reality distorted and Dean was standing in a restaurant in... Chicago?! 

"Thank you Tessa, you may continue your work now." An icy voice clipped through the confusion, "Come Dean. Sit." The old man motioned to the chair opposite him and he continued to precisiely cut his pizza and eat it. "Don't keep me waiting Dean."

Apprehensivly, Dean sat opposite Death. 

"So..."

"I have been waiting to speak with you," sighing, the man wiped his mouth with a napkin, "What can I do for you Dean?"

"Don't know how to repsond to that. See the thing is... I need... We need..." Dean stammered, was he really about to ask Death,  _holy shit grim reaper_ , for help?

"Spit it out, time is of the essence."

"I need your help." 

"My ring specifically yes? Under normal circumstances, you would be dead." Dean flinched.

"But with Lucifer keeping me bonded, he has me where he wants, when he wants. That's why I couldn't go to you. I am so very powerful and yet he made me his weapon. Hurricanes, floods, raising the dead. Enslaved by a bratty child with daddy issues. I want you to unbind me."

"You think  _I_ can do that?!"

"Do not be ridiculous. You are just a bacterium on the bottom of the swimming pool. What I want is for Lucifer to be back in his cage. I am willing to give you my ring in assistance."

"You... You would just give me your ring?"

Removing the black ring from his finger, his cold hands touched Dean's. 

"But I need you to promise."

Dean fiddled with the ring in his palm, distractedly. "Hm.."

"That you will do whatever it takes, even if it means letting your brother jump into the pit."

"You think he's-"

"I don't think Dean, I know. So I need you to promise. Do I have your word?"

"Erh, yeah, sure."

"That had better been a yes. You cannot cheat Death Dean. Now would you like for me to explain how the key works?"

 

 

Dean's eyes blinked open. From somewhere, he felt a pain, likely his face  _dammit Cas_ , but he could also feel something holding him from either side. A hand carded through his hair and he moaned at the feeling of living.

"DEAN!"

"You pitiful excuse of self loathing. Do you have any idea what you did?!"

"And here I thought that you hated me Gabe."

Cas' hand clutched his own with an increasing intensity. 

_Hey Cas fuck I'm really sorry about the whole Michael thing._

_Just stop throwing yourself into the fire before we've even had time to think._

_  
_The 4 men sat on the double bed, on the opposite side to the blood stains, in an overwhelming revere of relief.

 _  
_"So do you guys wanna know how the key works?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are so close guys *squeels*  
> Hope you like it - very Deancentic fic but I feel everyone has played their part and will play their parts in the self sacrificial roundabout. But it's usually Dean jumping at the chance to die for others so yeah.  
> Hope you're enjoying the read and thanks for bothering in the first place :D  
> Peace out bitches -xo


	13. Run Down The Devil

_It's twelve o'clock in the mornin'_  
 _While everybody is sleepin'_  
 _I want him dead in my head lights_  
 _'Cause in the shadow he's creepin'_

_Drive on down to lonely street_  
 _He's always waiting there for me_

_Run down the Devil, run the Devil down_  
 _Run down the Devil, run him down, down, down_

Dean sat at the table at Bobby's. It was early, too early in fact, and he and the odd creak in the house were the only ones up. Having crawled away from Cas to have a cold shower, Dean found himself sitting at the table; hopefully washing away his first nightmare since Michael down the drain. Dejectedly, he fiddled with the four rings. They clanked dull on the table. Spin. Placing his hand on top of it, it halted and wobbled meagerly on its side. Another kamikazed off the edge. Slowly, he leaned forward to pick it up, without so much as a look, he threw it back on the table and moved away to the back door. Sammy probably would have gone for a jog, but Dean didn't see the point in getting all sweaty again after his shower. Getting greasy, however, under the hood of his Baby was a different story.

The sun began to blaze over the horizon, covering his legs in a warm blanket. He had been out there for hours. Crawling out from beneath his car, Dean wiped his hands and went back inside to grab a beer. Distracted, he positioned himself back at the table, swigging half heartedly at the bottle. He placed the beer down and that's when he saw it. The 4 rings hand joined together to make one. _Son of a bitch!_ Curiously, he pulled at the edges of the metallic ring and they broke apart. Pushing them close they pulled at each other completing themselves once again.

_Cas, Cas get your feathery ass down here._  
 _Dean my ass never has and still isn't covered in feathers._

Dean chuckled to himself at the sleep that drowned Cas voice, he was so not a morning person.

_Alright, alright. Just get down here! Come on I have something to show you._  
 _No. The bed is slightly cooler without your presence but it is comfortable._

With an mischievous grin, he downed the last of the beverage and stalked up the stairs to get Cas. He could literally imagine the Sam style bitch face on Cas' face when he poked his head into the room. Cas was snuggled under the covers, his unruly mop of hair peaking over the top of the mound.

"Go away Dean." Cas moaned and adjusted his position.  _Since when was Cas a grumpy teenager?_

 _  
_Remaining silent, mustering all of his hunter abilities, Dean advanced on the now exposed ankle of his friend. Cas shuffled a little but his foot remained out. Frozen in place Dean winced at a creak from the floorboard. Cas didn't move. Dean was close now; he could feel his excitement twitching in his fingers as he reached forward. Swiftly, he yanked down on Cas foot, causing Cas to fall out of bed in a less than graceful movement and land on the hard wood with a loud, un-amused, "DEAN."

Elated that Cas was now out of bed, he felt like he did when Sammy was younger and they would start ridiculous prank wars. Slightly holding back a laugh, Cas' squinty eyes met Dean's, "Catch me if you can Cas."

Which is how Dean ended up hammering down the stairs, Cas close on his heels before being rugby tackled over the top of the sofa, Cas pinning Dean down against the worn leather. Faking surrender, Cas dropped his guard and allowed Dean to roll him over to the side and ontop of him. They were both panting heavily and Dean was huffing out laughter as he held Cas down. 

"Gotta work on your technique princess." 

"I am not of the female gender no more than I am related to a King. I do not understand why this required me getting out of bed."

Cas' breath was warm on Dean's face, he hovered over Cas studying him for a hint of amusement in the matter. And there it was. The faintest twitch at the corners of those beautiful lips..  _Woah, where'd that come from!?_ But whilst we're there, there's also his lean frame, muscles tensing to hold Dean up and the gentle rise of Cas' chest touching his own as their breathing steadied. It's the little things that Dean notices, and is sure no one else ever could that had him grinning as he offered his hand to Cas. A little too reluctantly at having Dean's body pressed against his, Cas grasped the hand and was standing up. Dean's looking at him again; noting the way his old Zepplin shirt clings to Cas' hips and abs, or the way his old grey trackies have fallen just a tad low of the other man's hips. Or maybe it's the way Cas' hair looks like he has had the roughest sex of his life and his bright blue eyes shine no longer faded by sleep. 

He looks down right doable.  

"Dean. What did you want to show me." 

 _Right, yeah, apocalypse, dying... Sammy._ Taking a moment to clear his head of totally fucking Cas against Bobby's counter, _there's a thought_ , he motioned over to the table. In comfortable silence now, Cas' interest peaked by the coffee machine behind Dean, the men sat down. Expectantly, Cas frowned at Dean. With his best showmanship he laid each of the rings out separate in an invisible marked out square. Then, with a finger in each ring, he slowly moved them together. The rings shuddered against the resistance and joined with a dull clink. 

Marveling, Cas' eyes never left Dean's fingers. He watched them move and then again watched them join. Dean was smugly leaning back in his chair when a disgruntled Bobby smacked the back of his head with his hand.

"What in the hell were you two doing? Reenacting the death of Mufasa?!"

"Sorry Bobby, but you know we never go there."

"Well, why did I wake up to a heard of damn elephant then?"

  
"Dean discovered something about the rings and I was reluctant to get out of bed. He proceeded to pull me out of bed, resulting in a chase which he instated before I ta-"

"Ok Cas. Don't need to give the man your life story." 

Two more groans followed them down the stairs. 

"Hermionie, Ron, keep it down next time, some of us were trying to sleep." Sam headed straight for the coffee machine while Gabriel lingered in the doorway.

"Gabriel... I do not understand that reference." 

"So what did you work out ya idjit?" Bobby rolled his eyes. A room full of 'men' who acted like they were still running around in diapers. 

Smirking, Dean repeated the performance for his new audience. Bobby gaped, Sam looked like he just saw the creation of the universe and Gabriel wasn't paying attention anymore than he was followng Sam's hand which held his cup of coffee. 

"All we have to do now is find a way to lure the Devil in." 

 

 

Eyeing the beer bottle in the bin as I chucked out the wrapper for a sweet Gabe had given me (hey, if the angel is kind enough to offer) I looked at my brother. "How long have you been up Dean?"

He shrugged uncaring at me, "Dunno, couple of hours I guess." I checked the clock, it was only just hitting 8 am. "And what is this a beer in the morning to add to your habits that are going to get you killed."

Cas was looking at Dean angrily now too. _Heh, got him in trouble with his boyfriend._   He shrugged again. 

"We need to talk about this Dean."

"There ain't nothing to talk about Sammy! I couldn't sleep, didn't want to wake Cas, fancied a beer and worked out what the hell Death was chatting when he said a 'circle of rings'. Awesome that you think it's unhealthy, but you know what? With Lucifer trying to wear you to the prom and Michael wanting a piece of my ass, forgive me if I don't actually give a shit!" 

I wasn't expecting that. My what Dean would call 'Prime Bitch Face #8 Dean you're going to do something stupid' fell to my 'Well fuck Dean, don't sugar coat the bullshit'. Stomping away, he went out the back door and slammed it behind him. Cas looked as though he was going to follow, but his face turned into a frown and he settled back into his chair. 

"While the baby is having his tantrum, should we get to work on how we are going to convince the Devil into jumping into his box?" I looked at Bobby, maybe it was time I shared my plan with them. 

 "So... I was thinking, you know back at that motel room with Dean, Meg told you to stab him and you like, pulled back control?"

Gabriel was scowling at me suspiciously, "What are you getting at Samsquatch?"

"I just wondered, I know he is way more powerful, but what if. What if I said yes-"

"No Sam!" Gabriel was clutching at my arm, moving the hair out of my face. "The only thing you are saying yes to is a hair cut."

Sighing, Bobby removed his hat and took up Dean's empty seat. "Like you know, he is way more powerful and besides! I stabbed myself Sam, not exactly the kind of example you want to follow after."

Siphoning back into the conversation, as he was entranced by the loud music Dean was playing and by the looks of it, fighting the urge to go out there, his eyes collided with mine. "Have you spoken to Dean about this?"

"No, I... I wanted to run it past you guys, cos you know, Dean would just rule it out even if it's the only option we are left with... It is the only option isn't it. We haven't found anything and Lucifer may be corrupt but he isn't stupid." 

For the first time, ever, I saw Gabriel with tears in his eyes. "We can find another way Sam." He leaned forward and whispered broken in my ear, "I can't lose you." 

A tingle of electricity shot down my spine. "What do you think Cas?" 

"As much as I dislike the idea of you sacrificing yourself, which is apparently a Winchester trait, I do believe that it may be the only course of action. Obviously, if you fail then the world is doomed."

"Thanks, Cas. You know sometimes I'm not sure that you like me," I replied softly. It's true. With the whole demon blood thing and Dean and Cas' 'Profound bond' I never felt like Cas even considered me a friend. The hurt expression on his face almost made Gabe burst into tears as well. "Of course I like you Sam. You are a good man, and a good friend. I am honored to be on this side of the clouds to be fighting along side you." 

Smiling at him, I looked at the door where Dean had made his great escape to. "I'm not doing anything without talking to Dean first." Bobby grunted affirmation and Gabriel squeezed my shoulder. A weight seemed to lift off of Cas; he began to inspect the rings on the table. 

 

  
Dean was sat on the hood of the Impala, staring out at the yard. He wasn't drinking which at first surprised Sam until he saw the empty bottle of Jack smashed on the dirt. Nervously clinking the two bottles in his hand, Sam strode to his brother and joined him, silently offering the bottle. 

"Dean, look I need to talk to you."

He cranked the dial down, letting Zepplin sing as a soft background noise to fill the lapses in their conversation."Yeah? M' sorry Sammy. You know how much of a dick I am."  
"Stop, Dean. We were thinking -"

"We?"

"Well mostly me and Cas, Bobby and Gabe are more reluctant, but Dean what if I threw Lucifer into the pit."

Something sank in Dean's gut. _Just like Death said._  Sadly, his eyes drifted upwards glaring at the sky. Shacking his head, he looked back into his bottle, chasing the contents around the bottom.

"I wouldn't do it without you behind me. Lucifer is powerful but if I can take back over, I can jump in with him."

"Why does it have to be you Sammy? I would do anything..."

"I started this Dean. I have gotten so many people killed. I let Lucifer out and God knows how many times I let you down. I need to do this. For reconciliation."

"Don't you think I've forgiven you for all that. And you fucked up? Yeah well, I ain't exactly God's gift Sammy, you're so much better than you give yourself credit for. We can work out another way."

"No Dean. You know we make all these messes. We gotta clean this one up Dean. No more people dying because of us."

The _Me_ was heavily implied in Sam's tone.

 

"What am I supposed to do if you're gone Sammy? Looking after you. That's all I've ever known, that was my purpose. I'm going to fail... Again. Fuck. Dad would be whipping my ass right now."

"Go live with Cas! Or hunt and please take Gabe with you. God I'm going to miss waking up to candy in my hair." The younger Winchester chuckled at the memory, still fresh in his mind. 

Dean stayed silent. 

"You're behind me on this then?"

He smiled kindly at his younger brother, dropping his beer to the floor with a crack and embracing his brother in one of his only-for-Sammy chick flick moments. "I'm never going to be on board with you dying Sam, but if you gotta do this."

Following his brother, the mood inside Bobby's house had shifted considerably. Everyone was somber, the weight of Sam's decision holding them hostage. 

"Well, I think we better make your last day awesome, wudda you say Samsquatch?" Gabriel tried to help the situation; it did make Sam smile at the edges of his mouth. 

"Do we know where the Devil's gunna be, boy?" Bobby pulled Sam into a gruff fatherly man hug as he spoke. 

"Detroit." The two Winchesters answered together. Looking at each other curiously, their eyebrows were raised in question.

"Death." Dean said.

"Lucifer." Sam confirmed.

Sam spent his 'last day' with the people he loved most. Their family might be small, maybe even incredibly broken, but it's theirs and they wouldn't swap it for anything. Blood don't make you family. _This does._ Sam thought as he looked out adoringly at Cas and Dean on the other side of the bar staring at each other, Bobby chatting with Ellen while Jo easily whooped Gabe's ass at pool.

 

Detroit was a storm of omens and signs all pointing to a flat block to the south of the city. Rain fell miserably down on their faces, 5 men surveying the building from the street across from it.

"He's in there." Gabriel mumbled quietly, the angel of the Lord acting slightly more like a child being told off.  
Sharing a look Sam decided they had waited long enough. He could do this. He needed to do this. For Dean and Bobby, Cas and Gabe. For the billions of lives he put at risk and killed over his lifetime. For mom and dad...

Dean had popped the trunk but had positioned himself near the hood of the Impala. They all turned away as Sam looked down at the content of the jug before him. The crimson flowed bright and it sent sparks through Sam's veins. Heart racing, he twisted the cap and glugged down the liquid. It was think and warm. The buzz never came. No longer did Sam feel empowered by his addiction. It made him feel sick and heavy; he knew if he didn't want to explode (as that swanky British dick with wings Balthezar had reliably informed them) then he needed to drink up.

Bobby's goodbye was the closest to saying goodbye to his Dad that Sam was ever going to get. The hug speaking the thousands of thank yous that Sam knew Bobby deserved.

"I'm proud of you boy, go in there and kick the Devil in the ass."

Cas was next, not by defult, just he was the closest to Sam at the time. Of all the meetings these men have had, never has Cas looked so genuinely sad, his blue eyes cast to the ground.

"Maybe if I were an angel, me and Gabriel would be able to fix this."  
"Don't talk like that Cas, this is my fault man. Look for what it's worth, I'm damn proud to call you my brother." Sam's towering frame swamped over Cas' in the only hug they ever shared. It was awkward and ill-proportionate but it didn't matter.

"Look after the boys Cas." Smiling, Sam pulled away.  
"I can no longer do that." Cas shuffled his feet around.  
"Humour me."

Before he could say anything in return, Gabriel had swept behind Sam and used his angelic strength to hold him up in a tight embrace. If anyone else could see it, they probably would have freaked. A five foot dude, hauling some six foot giant, staring longingly into each others eyes... Yeah. Unnatural but it works. White wings furled around them both. Soft downing strocking Sam's hair, when Gabreil gave a nervous smile and placed Sam down. A slow, deepening kiss insued, and for once, Dean didn't have a joke to crack. It screamed devotion, loss and pain. Breaking apart, Gabriel whispered into Sam's ear.  
"We'll find a way to get you out."

Tears streamed down the younger Winchester's face as he finally turned to face his brother. His hero. His mentor. The sad smile that graced the brothers lips ended with a crushing hug. There were too many things that needed to be said; in one last ditch attempt the brothers threw it all into that hug.

Dean cleared his throat, wiping at his eyes that stung like pin pricks. "You guys, just. Stay here then. We'll... I'll be out." _Or not._ Together, they walked across the street. The sky growled ominously at them. But it was too late.

 

It was quiet. Too eerie and silent so that the boys could here the gentle exhale of their own lungs. Advancing up the stairs, they heard a hoarse voice beckon them into a room.

Quick glances were exchanged. They crossed over the thresh hold.

Inside a man stood, gazing out the window. He turned to greet them. Blisters mottled over the surface of his skin, his gray hair spiked and yet unevenly distrubuted on his head. Despite the imperfections, the man smiled sickly at them, arms open as if to invite them in. Lucifer.

"Sammy, you brought the Michael sword." He cooed.

"Only I get to call him Sammy you son of a bitch."

"Careful Dean, that's my mother you're talking about." Flicking his wrist, Dean was sent crashing into the wall behind Sam. Sam held his ground, trying not to look too disgusted by the boils and fragmenting skin. "I know terrible isn't it. See Nick here has always been well, my plan B. He isn't strong enough to contain me for long."

"I can see that," Sam glanced over to the now moving pile of Dean, "That's why I'm here. I'm saying yes."

The Devil was speechless. He just looked at Sam's face, trying to work out Sam's motive. "Then let's get this show on the road!"

Immediately, the room was filled with a brilliant white light. The windows burst and Sam's scream echoed in the halls ways and reverberated out into the street below. Covering his ears, Dean clutched his knees and hit the deck. The intensity of the light brimmed down. Cautiously standing up, Dean faced the back of his brother.

"Sammy?"

"Dean, hurry up, throw the rings!"

Instantly, Dean threw the circle of rings at the spare wall. Expanding out, a swirling mass loomed back at the boys. Sam was screaming again, trying everything to fight it.

"Come on Sammy, you can do it. I l-"

"It's Lucifer, fuck face. God this human and _Gabriel_ that's disgusting!"

"Come on Sammy, beat him! He's just another dick with wings!"

"Awww, he's trying Dean, I can feel him scraping at me in a futile attempt to get me to jump in there!?" Icy, harsh chuckles fell from Sam's lips. A careless flick of the wrist hurtled Dean into another walk and out if Lucifer's way. The voice that spoke was not Sam, it sounded like Sam but no, that cold condescending tone. That wasn't Sam. "See you on the field Mikey."

Dean stumbled out of the building, were Cas, Gabe and Bobby were waiting. Blood was accumulating at the back of his hair and some pooled around his hand where he clutched the rings, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Grim faces greeted him and he didn't even need to tell them what happened... They knew. That Sam had failed, that Dean had failed and yup, the whole world is going to burn. Trapped in their own silences, they made their way over to the Impala, tears falling and mingling with the rain, wind lashing at their backs. Reaching the door to his car, Dean stopped, clasping his hands together and leaning them on top of the Impala.

"What do we do now?" He asked, after several more minutes in silence, his family backed behind him anticipating Dean's next move.

"I suggest we consume dubious amounts of alcohol." Cas replied, face hard and serious.

"Thanks Father Jack, I mean we have to... Sam." Thoughts weren't flowing coherently then. Dean felt clasutrophobic and incredibly isolated all at once. "Where is this fight taking place?"

Gabriel was grieved into silence. "Pray if you need me." And he was gone. First Sam, now Gabriel. They were getting weaker and weaker by the second.

"You are not going to be there, so Michael cannot be there. But even if he were? I have no idea." Cas piped up again trying to edge closer to Dean.

"What about Chuck?" Dean slammed his fist against the roof of the car. The steely metal cutting shallow into the flesh of his hand. Transfixed by the numbness in his palm, Dean shoved the rings back into his pocket.

"Chuck?" Bobby, who was the best damn hunter-leg-man had never heard of anyone in the business called Chuck, nor had he heard the boys mention any Chuck.

"I suppose he would..." Cas was cut off by the heavy slam of the car door and the roar of the engine as Dean reversed her skillfully away. Leaving his family shouting at him from the street corner.

Windscreen wipers battled furiously at the tidel wave of rain crashing against the windscreen. Frantically, Dean scrummed his hand to his eyes so as to clear his vision for driving.

_Dean please..._

  
Dean searched Cas for the prophets address. He had only met the man once and although he was a nice enough guy, he was scrawny and shifty in a way that made Dean want to run. Oh and he was publishing books detailing all of the Winchester's lives. The Winchetser Gospels, Dean scoffed at the thought. Finding what he was looking for, Dean slammed the connection shut, suddenly feeling a chill and loneliness spread through him. He fought it off; pressed his foot into the gas pedal.

When he arrived at Chuck's, he was not surprised to see the nervous man open the door to welcome him to Cas and Gabe in the living room.

"Where's this going down Chuck?"

"Dean! You do not just get to drive off like that! Whatever you are thinking, Sam's going to be killed." Cas was up in Dean's personal space, holding his gaze with squinted eyes.

"If Michael isn't going to be there then how us Sammy going to die Cas?!"

Chuck coughed quietly, standing beside but otherwise between the two men. "Well, you see..."

"Spit it out Chuck!"

"Your Dad... He. You have a younger half brother, called Adam."

Eyes shot wide, Dean collapsed to his knees. "No... Dad wouldn't." Facing Cas, he saw the truth written all over his pensive expression. "So now my other brother that I didn't know about is taking a bullet for me too?"

"They will not survive the fight, Dean." Gabriel came out of his mourning.

"Then I am not letting them die alone. Take me to them Gabe."

"Dean, no."

"No Cas? NO? My little brothers are going to be fighting because your big brothers want to have a bitch off! What happened to you guys, fuck. Sam is and _will_ do anything for us. My fucking bad for thinking you gave a shit."

Dean finished his rant and found himself in the middle of a field.

"Don't you ever talk to me like you are the only one who gives a shit about Sam. Don't you fucking dare Dean Winchester, or I swear to Dad I will smite you myself!" Gabriel stepped back from Dean and turned to face Sam who was sarcastically clapping at the show.

"Finally grew a pair Gabbie, so nice to see. Then you went and spoiled it all by having relations with a human! Makes me want to gag all over my pretty suit." Lucifer was dressed all in white, like the purest opposite to the angel of death.

"Luci, bro. I love you. But sometimes you're a great big bag of dicks," the pleasantly amused expression instantly faded, "and you happen to be wearing someone more important to me than your and Michaels typical Sunday dinner show down."

Fingers snapped in the air, exploding Gabriel into shards of flesh and blood. Dean stood splattered in his friend.

"You have killed two of my brothers today you fucked up dick!"

Lucifer moved toward Dean when another guy joined them in the field.

"Gabriel was not your brother. And take it from someone who knows, you wouldn't want him to be. But Luci, you didn't have to do that. Nor do we have to fight."

_Cas I need five minutes with Lucifer alone if we stand any chance of stopping this._

_I understand Dean._

"Speak for yourself Mikey."

"Hey, assbutt!" Chanting poured from Cas mouth as he charged at Michael. As soon as Cas' skin made contact with the smaller, but by no means less mistakable Winchester, Michael dissapeared, leaving Cas on his knees in the dirt.

"Did you just banish Michael back to Heaven?"

"That was for Gabriel and Sam, brother. " Cas sneered.

Lifting him into the air, Dean rushed forward but was sent spinning across the dirt by Lucifer's free hand.

"Nobody messes with Michael except me. What a peculiar thing you are Castiel."

Pop.

Cas was gone too. An explosion of blood and body parts cascaded through the air. Dean sobbed from the floor where he had landed; Lucifer turned all his attention to him now.

Pummeling, Sam's fist connected with his body. Pure rage seeping out of every pore Lucifer possessed.

"S'ok Sammy. I'm not going to leave you."

Crack. Thump.

"Mom would have been so proud of you, getting into Stanford."

Smack. Click.

"Dad loved you best, he always did. You were his favourite little man, his best soldier. And that's good Sammy."

"SHUT UP." Dean's body ached and pained, blood running from places he could not pin point. His vision was white and hazy but he still saw the flicker of something in Sam's hazel eyes. Forcing his swollen eyes open, he held the gaze of the Devil.

"I'm proud of you Sammy. Of the things we did. The pranks we pulled. The people we saved. Even if I could never save you from that ridiculous hair cut." Dean paused and winced as his jaw throbbed at moving, "I would go to Hell and back a billion times to save you Sammy. No matter what. Best friend. Brother. Funky town."

Throwing the rings from his pocket again, the portal opened up behind him. Michael had returned to see what no one thought was possible.

Sam's fist raised again to administer the final blow. But it never came.

The rock crumbled apart. With a short nod, Sam dived into the pit, taking Lucifer down with him. The portal closed after them.

Gabriel was gone.  
Castiel was gone.  
Michael, in Adam's body, vanished.

The cold shine of the setting sun glare at Dean from behind the clouds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shizzbiscuits! This is it, final chapters up now!
> 
> Father Jack - off the TV show Father Ted - was a notorious (and always drinking) priest. 
> 
> Apologies for any mistakes, this is all me writing without stopping.
> 
> Thanks for reading and yeah! All my focus will be in my other fic now ;3 
> 
> Peace Out faithful reading bitches -xo


	14. New Divide

_I remembered black skies,_

_The lightning all around me,_

_I remembered each flash,_

_As time began to blur,_

_Like a startling sign,_

_The fate had finally found me,_

_And your voice was all I heard,_

_That I get what I deserve._

 

Sam was gone. The pit had swallowed him up complete and whole, along with Lucifer. Cas and Gabe were spread all over in a confetti of blood and body pieces. He was alone. Forlorn, without his brother, best friends, he had nothing left. _No._

 

Standing up from his heap on the floor, he winced with the freshness of his wounds. _Sammy can still pack a punch._ _Could._ Quietly, he began to weep. The years of boxing it away and shoving it down began exploding in a fit of rage all falling out of him now as he screamed at the sky.

“Why me huh? What the hell did I ever do to deserve to survive? You know what, screw your damn fate! They gave up everything for YOU. Why didn’t you take me? ANSWER ME GOD. I never asked you for anything before. ANSWER ME!

A clap of thunder shattered through the air. The rain came pouring down mixing with the tears that streamed out of Dean’s swollen eyes as if to hide them from the empty field.

  
“I know you’re out there! You… You saved Cas. I DON’T DESERVE TO SURVIVE THIS.” _The only difference between Hell and where I am now is gravity..._

The last thing he remembered before everything went black was the sharp zap of lightning and searing chill sweep through him.

 

\---

His eyes flickered open. Absolute blackness surrounded him at all sides; this isn’t what he remembered death being like. Or heaven. Or Hell.

 

“Where am I?”

“At the end of the universe.” Spoke a voice that sounded bizarrely like Morgan Freeman.

“Huh, what am I doing here?”

“You made an immediate appointment.”

“God?”

“That’s me.”

“Bring him back.”

“Seven  billion people ask for miracles every day, what makes you any different?”

“I’m not asking for a miracle. I’m asking for a trade: my life for Sam’s... And Cas and Gabe.”

“What makes them more deserving of life than you? Had it occurred to you that you might even be alive for a reason?”

“Like I care! I am the one who tortured souls and _liked_ it. It’s my fault they are dead!   _I_ am the one who didn’t protect Sammy, _I_ am the one who ‘corrupted’ Cas, hell, _I_ am the one who convinced Gabriel to go stand up to Lucifer!”

“Let’s discuss this then. You, a torturing bad soul, in exchange for a demon blood drinker, a misguided angel and an angel turned trickster who ran away over millennia ago.”

Dean was lost for words.  
“Ok, I’m just going to put it out there because I can’t really focus, is Morgan Freeman God or…”

“I have allowed my image to be whatever your mind first perceives so no; this is just how you imagined me to be.”

“Ok.”

“We really are at the end of the universe though. It is such a peaceful place.”

“You want to know what’s not peaceful? Your family dying because your children are fighting in the sandbox!”

“Michael and Lucifer never did get on.”  
“Well Sammy’s dead. Shut in the cage with your misfit.”

“What do you want from me Dean?”  
“I want my brother out of the box! I want Cas and Gabe alive and _angels_ ; their grace and everything! I want your damn children to sort it out in Heaven and the monsters to crawl back into Hell!” He stopped to breathe. “I just want this to be over.”

“And I get you in return? You must realise that I have been alive since the beginning of time. You have mentioned two humans and two angels.”

“So they mean nothing to you!?”

“Of course they mean something, but I have millions of prayers a day always asking for _something_. You, Dean Winchester, just happened to catch my direct attention.”

“Then I am already valuable to you. I am the ‘righteous man’ or whatever. You can have me; can have whatever you want from me just please, _please_ bring my family back.”

 

\---

I woke up on the floor in the field. _This is familiar._ Looking around I saw Gabe and Cas. Gabriel was immediately wrapping his arms around me and I leaned forward into his embrace resting my head on top of his.

“Sam! You’re alright.”  
“And you are alive!” I was unashamedly crying at this point, “Where is Dean?”

I looked over to Cas. Cautiously, he was bent over a twisted figure on the ground.

“Dean?” I had never seen Cas’ face so distorted by emotion. He was holding my brother in his arms as I collapsed beside him.

“Oh God! What has he done? What did _I_ do?” My brothers’ face was a mush of cuts and bruises. _I did this_.

 

Holding my hand Gabe provided me a look that gave me comfort in every sense of the word; I squeezed back twice as hard.

 

Cas placed his fingers on Dean’s head, clearing his body from wounds. Suddenly I saw just how bad Cas was taking it, I mean I was barely keeping it together but Cas, _Cas_ was shuddering, the emotionless expression ripped from his face by grief and his pristine blue eyes, bloodshot and spilling out.

 

We stood together in silence, wondering at what cost Dean had brought us back.

 

\---

“So you have established yourself as the bargaining chip, anything else you want to demand of God?”

“Well when you say it like that, some friends of mine died, many innoce-“

“I was being sarcastic Dean.”

_I just got sassed by God._

“I haven’t spoken with one of my creations in a very long time. I’m curious. Let’s talk.”

“Bring my family back first.”

“You don’t care that you’re talking to God like that do you.”

“Not really, no.”

\---

Castiel blinked hard. Turning to face him, I put a hand supportively on his shoulder, Gabriel came up beside me.

_Dean?_

“What’s up bro?”

“I… I thought I heard Dean in my head.”

“So he’s not dead?”

“I do not know Sam. But he had to make a deal with someone powerful enough to resurrect me and Gabriel and give me my grace back; perhaps they are toying with us? But...,” he shifted his weight uneasily, ” I cannot sense him.”

“Because he has been reaped?”

“No... It’s more like he is far away, really far away.”

“I bet Chuck would know. If Dean’s still alive and kickin’ then whatever he is doing has got to be in the Winchester gospels right?”  
It was times like this that I love Gabriel for his positivity. I will be sure to tell him that later.

For the moment, Cas’ features raised slightly before we were all connected through touch, Dean flaccid in Castiel’s arms, standing in Chuck’s living room.

\---

“From what I have heard your species have evolved greatly since the last time we spoke.”

“Yeah well 2000 years will do that to you.”

“And what of you, Dean, what did your fate lead you to?”

“I don’t mean to state the obvious, but I clearly lost everything. I received a royal screwing over, so I returned the favour to fate too.”

“I understand, your circumstances were less than fortunate.”

Dean scoffed.

“Of course, when Castiel chose to pull you out of the fire I knew my time was coming.”

“When he did what now?!”

“The night your mother died. Yes, destiny had it that Mary and Dean Winchester were to die in the flames, leaving the father, John Winchester and Lucifer’s vessel, Sam Winchester to survive and carry out their vengeance; ultimately leading to paradise.”

“That was what was meant to happen? Why did… Why would Cas do that?”

“Because, he chose to do so. For an exact reason, you would have to ask him I’m afraid. My first angel to choose, I am so proud of him.”

“He tried to find you, you know. If you are clocking out, you should go see him.”

“Yes, I will talk with him. He did some terrible things in my absence.”

“We all did.”

“You forgive him.”

“Yes.”  
“Interesting. The Righteous Man teaching the Free Will angel. Don’t think even Chuck could have predicted that one.”  
“I did no-“

“Don’t try to lie to me Dean, I created you with such free will which has led to some nasty habits.”  
“He chose for me?”

“He chose you in every sense. First he saves you as a baby, effectively derailing the plans for paradise. Then again, he dies to save you, despite his orders directing him to do the opposite. Every time I brought Castiel back I give him the option to choose. And every time, he chose you, no matter the consequence to himself.”

“You should have taught your angels to make better choices in humans.”

“I cannot change the bond you have with each other.”

“I need him don’t I?”

“And he you.”

“You’re right... And I never stopped having faith in him, despite everything. I love him.”

God must have sensed the bombshell of Dean Winchester admitting love and remained silent.

“Someone needed to be there for him.”

“And you were.”

  
\---

“What are you...? You shouldn’t be here.”

“We should be dead, yeah we know.”

“No Gabriel, I _know_ what Dean did, I mean, you guys should be on the road or something, well Sam and Gabe, Cas I don’t even know where you should be. In heaven maybe?”

“Well we are here. We want to know what Dean did.” Sam moved forward.

“Chuck, who is writing if you are the prophet?” Cas spoke finally.

“Er... Joshua. He kinda wanted to take over God’s final gospel. And why did you bring his body here!”

“Dean made a deal with _God_!?”

The man and the angels stood mouths agape, struck down with the revelation.

Before passing Chuck Cas put a hand threateningly on his shoulder, the smaller man gulped.

“Dean Winchester is not dead, his body is still needed.”

Nodding quickly, Chuck moved nervously out of the way as everyone crowded around the computer screen where Joshua was typing.

Quietly to Gabe, Sam whispered, “How is he typing when he isn’t at the computer?”

Gabriel wiggled his fingers childishly, “Angels dude.”

Sam scrolled up the page to the start of the chapter. It began with Gabe’s death, then Cas’ and finally Sam.

Bracing themselves for Dean’s conversation with God, they continued to read down.

Castiel and Gabriel stood still. If their hearts beat, it probably would have given out.

Dean Winchester considered them family. He sacrificed himself for them. As far as the synopsis of Dean Winchester goes, you have to be someone _very_ special to be even held in the same status as Sam; it humbled and crushed Cas that Dean had felt this way about them, about _him._

\---

“They are safe now then?”

“Yes. I believe they are with the prophet Chuck.”

“Why are they...? Oh, they are looking for me.”

“Would you like to be found?”

“As oppose to wanting to be dead? Hell yes.”

“If nothing at all, I want you to remember this boost in your self esteem.”

“It should be me dead, not Sam, not Cas, not _Gabe_. And that guy annoys the hell out of me.”

“You are a hero, Dean.”

  
“Sam saved the world not me. Cas had faith in you when he sure as hell shouldn’t have and he saved my ass more times than I would care to mention. Gabe stood up to his brother, knowing that he was likely to die. I am no hero.”

“And who was there to raise Sam, tie his shoes and make his meals? Who backed Cas up, was loyal despite the things Castiel asked of you? Who showed Gabriel that there is always a choice, and that if he can choose Sam, he can choose to prove to his brother that my Will lives on? You, Dean Winchester, that is who.”

“I only did what needed to be done. Anyone in my position would have done the same.”

“I can see I will not convince you. I will let you be on your way.”

Closing his eyes he prepared himself for the pain to stop, for the relief he was so sure was waiting for him.

When the voice remained silent, Dean opened one of his eyes.

“We going to get this over with or what?”

 “The angels are as they should be, the monsters I can do nothing more about. I have left guardians; Cas and Gabe are two of them, they will protect the earth from another collapse.”

“Would you stop monologuing and ice me already?”

“Someday you will see the world from a different perspective, and appreciate that you too are a hero. For now, you have given enough Dean Winchester. Goodbye my son.”

\---

Lungs stuttering back to life, Dean lurched forward from the sofa. His family were around him in seconds, mostly shouting incoherent threats and soppy ‘glad you’re alive’. Feeling his brother again made tears well up at the corner of his eyes – Sammy was safe. Gabe brushed a knuckle fondly into his cheek.

“You scared us for a minute Deano.”

Eyes falling finally to Cas he had to force himself to keep it together, the other man, who was standing at the other end of the couch staring at him, had an expression that Dean may never place. A lonely tear fell from his bright eyes and Dean moved instinctively towards him. Calloused thumb wiping away the tear, Cas pulled him into a hug, Dean burrowing his face into the crook of Cas’ neck.

_I love you, Cas._

_Don’t you ever, EVER do that to me again!_

_Does that mean you love me too?_

_Of course Dean, I have loved you since the beginning._

_Where were you when I needed to hear that?_

_I’m right here Dean, I will always be here._

Dean looked up and gently pressed his lips into Cas’. It was soft and sweet, Cas’ lips tender under his own. Dean deepened the kiss, licking Cas’ bottom lip as if asking permission. Castiel looped an arm around Dean’s waist which brought them even closer to each other. As they kissed the world around them seemed to melt away, Dean felt ecstatic, he had Cas and he had a family again.

_We are doing that again later._

_I would like to show you the pizza man._

_I would love you to show me that Cas._

\---

With Dean brought back to life, only Joshua was interested in the final paragraph of God’s testament:

 If there is one thing you should have learned that the Winchesters are bad at, it’s accepting fate.

When an angel learns to choose for himself and goes against a command to live out his own life, it is then that he has finally reached peace. Angels are much like humans; except they are restrained by their need to be ordered. The Righteous man not only helped save the world many times, he raised the Saviour and taught the angels to choose. People will continue to hurt each other, and the monsters will still be out there, but as long as there are people willing to _choose_ for themselves, I have faith in my angels and humanity. Choice is a gift, use it wisely for it is the choices you make that define you, not what destiny has planned. As promised, Castiel, Angel of Thursday, companion to the Righteous Man and Gabriel, messenger of God, companion of the Boy Hero, are watching over you as well as many other of my trusted children. The Winchester bloodline shall continue to produce guardians of Earth; of that I have no doubt.


	15. Epilogue - Alone Together

_I don’t know where you’re going_

_But do you got room for one more troubled soul?_

_I don’t know where I’m going but I don’t think I’m coming home_

_And I said I’ll check in tomorrow if I don’t wake up dead_

_This is the road to ruin_

_And we’re starting at the end._

_Say yeah_

_Let’s be alone together_

_We could stay young forever_

_Scream it from the top of your lungs_

_Say yeah_

_Let’s be alone together_

_We could stay young forever_

_We’ll stay young, young, young, young, young._

 

Sam and Gabriel chose to settle down after the apocalypse was averted. Gabriel opened a charming pastry shop in Kansas, while Sam went back to school. They got the white picket fence, family and love all wrapped into one. But more than anything, they were happy.

 

The same could not be said for Cas and Dean. Truly, they had tried to settle down. Dean converted the salvage yard at Bobby’s into a mechanic’s haven, teaching Cas about cars and together making a bunch of money. However, neither of them could explain the urge, something pulling them back into the only lives they had ever known. It was for this reason Dean decided to teach Cas how to fight, without his angelic abilities.

_You hit like a girl!_

_I would like to remind you that I am fully capable of smiting you Dean._

Hurling Dean over his shoulder, Cas stood over him. Swiftly, Dean swiped his leg against Cas’ ankles; the other man hit the floor with loud _thud_ sending dust up into the air like a raging tornado.

_You can’t smite every human that starts a fight with you._

Dean straddled Cas, pinning him down, grinning at the brown flecks in Cas’ wild hair then meeting his stormy eyes.

_I could just knock them out._

_We’re not going back out there if we are relying on you always having your mogo._

Cas flipped their positions, looming over Dean before seductively dragging his face past Dean’s ear.

_I think you just like getting dirty Dean._

Reaching his hands under Cas’ sweaty shirt, Dean turned his face into the stubble of the other man placing a loving kiss on his cheek.

_I always like getting dirty with you Cas._

\---

For many years Dean and Cas were on the road, saving people and hunting things, together. They always came back for holidays, and stayed with Sam, Gabe and their two kids when they were between jobs.

That was the problem with the hunter and the angel they knew they were different; it was just the way they were. Soon they were two of the most famous hunters that ever lived (despite Dean’s previous status) the Angel and the Hunter would become something of a legend. Technically, they were dubbed the Hunter and his Angel, but Dean felt that although yes, in the sense of the word in that he would be with no one other than Castiel and was willing to fight to the death to keep him _his_ , the possessive nature of the title displeased him. He was not tethering Cas down; he wasn’t forcing him to stay. Loving Castiel was even easier because he, an Angel of the Lord, _chose_ to be with him.

Dean died the way he always wanted; that was a hunter’s death, going down swinging.

It was about a decade after the apocalypse, God leaving for good and Cas and Dean returning to the life. They were protecting two teenagers who had been stupid enough to make crossroad deals as children. 10 years were up; the hounds hot on their trail.

Running through the building, Dean urged the kids and Cas to go up the stairs ahead of them. In a fluid motion, he was walking backwards, firing shots into the invisible hounds; he gave a satisfied grunt when he heard one cry.

_They are more interested in us than them Cas._

_More like me than you Dean._

_Well they’re not getting you._

_Nor you, Dean._

On the second floor of the abandoned school building, Cas broke down a door to one of the old classrooms. Ushering everyone inside they stopped to put the goofer dust down by the doorway.

The heavy panting of exhausted people filled the room.

_There are too many to fight, Crowley must have gotten word it’s us._

_I know._

Violently, the door began to shake as the hounds banged into it in an attempt to get in. Dean looked at Cas, then to the teens cowering behind him.

“Flit them out of here Cas. I can keep them busy, and then you gotta smite _all_ of them once I’ve thinned the herd.”

“Dean that’s sui-“

“We have no other option.”

Cas moved forward, cupping a hand to Dean’s clammy face. Dean leaned fondly to the touch.

“I’m not leaving you.”  
“You have to, just get them _out_ and safe then we can have an Idaho moment and probably get our asses dragged back to Hell.”

The hinges on the door gave way - goofer dust only able to protect them for so long against so many hounds.

“I am coming right back. I love you.”

“Dude! Timing,” he backed protectively against them shotgun cocked, planting a hurried kiss on Cas’ lips,” I love you too, now get them out!”

When the flutter of wings was drowned out by ominous growling, Dean gave up shooting and pulled his machete out, managing to kill at least 3 of the monsters. However, he was quickly out matched. Blood oozing from his body, he let out a subdued scream, but somehow completed the angel symbol on the floor.

_Don’t look back, I love you Castiel._

_Dean? DEAN!?_

Cas hated when Dean used his full name; he was so used to ‘Cas’ that Dean only ever said ‘Castiel’ if he was being incredibly serious or if they were arguing about something really bad. Not even during sex – and Dean was _really_ vocal during sex – did Dean refer to Cas as anything other than Cas.

Cas tried to travel directly to Dean’s side, but something was preventing him. Instead he flew into the hallway, the sound of snarling and ripping flesh cutting through his heart like iron to a ghost. Rapidly moving towards the doorway, he was stopped by a blinding light from inside and the yowling of the dogs mixed with his man in excruciating pain.

“Dean?”

As he turned into the classroom, he saw the blood on the floor, the charred bodies of the hell hounds discarded like trash but where was Dean? The majority of the blood had to be Dean’s; the loss hit him all at once, there wasn’t even a body to mourn. Falling to his knees, he screamed out at him.

“You stupid, stubborn bastard! I love you Dean, love you more than anything. What am I supposed to do? To tell _Sam, Gabe... The kids!_? Where have you gone...? God please don’t leave me all alone for eternity.”

He was met by a stifling silence. It enveloped him, tears streaming down his face, the wind cutting in through the broken windows.

That’s when he felt wings brush behind him.

_Who could...?_

Spinning to face the sensation, he met Dean’s candy apple eyes, illuminated by the thunderous black wings arching over his head. He couldn’t believe it.

_I guess this is the new perspective God was talking about._

_You... You’re an angel Dean._

_Just as alone as you Cas._

 Desperately crushing their lips together, they kissed until Dean pulled back and smiled softly:

“Let’s be alone together, Cas.”

 

 

_So we m_ _arch to the drums of the damned as we come_  
 _Watch it burn in the sun - we are numb!_  
  
 _We are young!_  
 _But we have heart_  
 _Born in this world as it all falls apart_  
 _We are strong_  
 _But we don't belong_  
 _Born in this world as it all falls apart_  
  
 _We will fight or we will fall_  
 _'til the angels save us all_

  
  
_We will fight or we will fall_  
 _'til the angels save us all_

\---

 

Sitting contentedly in his throne of skulls, Crowley mused over everything that had happened. _Morons._

“Crowley.”

“Metatron sweetheart, how’s our little plan coming along?”He drooled at the fat stubby man before him.

“It’s Dean Winchester. He is dead.”  
“I know, I could hear Castiel’s pathetic whine from here. What I can’t put my finger on is why his soul isn’t in Hell where it belongs!”

“Hedidntstaydead.” The man answered, looking around the dank pit.

“Didn’t catch that, what?”

“He became a guardian.”

Crowley considered this for a minute, “The plan will still work, if not we eliminate the squirrel.”

“Then let’s initiate phase two.”

 

 

**~fin**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it kids! My first fic COMPLETOES :D I really hope you liked it and despite writers block I am determined to make my other fics soooo much better and more original, I think would be better. So yeah, thanks for reading and putting up with shitty updates. Feedback is always appreciated if you have time :3 
> 
> As promised here is the song list:  
> Family Portrait - P!nk  
> Like Toy Soldiers - Eminem  
> Falling Down - Plan B  
> Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day  
> Demons - Imagine Dragons  
> The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars  
> Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy  
> Blood Pressure - Mutemath  
> Green Eyes - Coldplay  
> How You Remind Me - Nickleback  
> I Will Wait For You - Mumford and Sons  
> End Credits - Plan B  
> Run Down The Devil - Alice Cooper  
> New Divide - Linkin Park  
> Alone Together - Fall Out Boy  
> (Excerpt from Young - Hollywood Undead)


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